Disclaimers, don't own FK or the lyrics to Sarah McLachlan's 'Sweet
Surrender,' no infringement intended.  Permission to archive granted to
Mel and the DP, anyone else please ask.

*This is actually from a challenge that dropped on the DP list, but if I
tell you what it is now it'll ruin the story, so read it first.  The
challenge is at the end :)


Sweet Surrender
By: Cousin Mary (Jenkins)

        He hadn't meant for her to notice.  Lacroix sighed and flipped the
switch that would broadcast his words across the black Toronto night.  He
kept his monologue away from the topics that had filled it for months...
obsession, longing... love.  He hadn't meant for her to realise he was
talking about her.  He knew she listened but... He pressed play, spinning
some song he didn't even bother to listen to.

        It doesn't mean much
        it doesn't mean anything at all
        the life I've left behind me
        is a cold room
        I've crossed the last line
        from where I can't return
        where every step I took in faith
        betrayed me
        and led me from my home

        When he'd first noticed her, she'd been a way to annoy Nicholas.  He'd
wax poetic about her over the air, knowing that only his son would
realise who the 'angel of the night-shift' was.  Lacroix laughed
humourlessly, fate was not, it seemed, without a sense of irony.  Of
course to muse upon the young woman's many charms he'd have to know what
she was like, where she went, what she thought...  So he'd watched.  And
somewhere along the way it had stopped being about Nicholas.  And
suddenly the cruel parody of a lovesick swain hadn't been in jest
anymore.

        And sweet
        sweet surrender
        is all that I have to give

        And he'd kept going.  Forgetting, or perhaps secretly hoping, that she'd
figure out who he meant.  Nicholas listened, she was forced to.  He
breathed her name then, wishing he'd had the chance to speak with her.
He should have known when Nicholas hadn't objected to his nightly musings
that all was not well.  But he'd hoped...

        You take me in
        no questions asked
        you strip away the ugliness
        that surrounds me
        are you an angel
        am I already that gone
        I only hope
        that I won't disappoint you
        when I'm down here
        on my knees
        And sweet
        sweet
        sweet surrender
        is all that I have to give

        Lacroix grimaced and remembered the call not three nights ago.  She'd
told him to stop, that she didn't want to play his 'meaningless mind
games.'  It had been the first time she'd ever spoken directly to him,
and before he could even form a response... she'd hung up.  She hadn't
understood that he had meant every word.

        Sweet
        sweet
        sweet surrender
        is all that I have to give

        He hadn't really considered that she might not want him.  Funny that.
He supposed it had only been a question of time before she found him
out...  But he had been so lost in her that he hadn't thought, just
fumbled by instinct.

        And I don't understand
        by the touch of your hand
        I would be the one to fall

        Gently he picked up the bloom that lay by his consul, she wasn't going
the same places she had.  She'd taken long walks in the pre-dawn after
her shift before, by the railroad tracks.  She was avoiding him he
supposed.  She knew he'd been watching her.

        I miss the little things
        I miss everything (about you)

        Forcing his thoughts away, Lacroix saw that the song was almost over.
He'd better take a call, this was a call in show after all.  "Good
evening gentle listener, what can I do for you tonight?"  So what if his
voice betrayed the barest hint of melancholy?  Surely no one would
notice.

        It doesn't mean much
        it doesn't mean anything at all
        the life I left behind me
        is a cold room

        "Do you mean it?"

        Lacroix froze, it was her!  "Wh-what?"  He silently cursed when his
voice broke.

        "The song," She hesitated, "Do you mean it?"

        Lacroix glanced down at the CD case, his eyes skimming the contents for
the title, "Sweet Surrender," He read blankly, his heart catching then.
He shut his eyes, and for the first time in a very long time, he prayed.
Then he whispered, "Yes Tracy, I mean it."

        Across town, knowing now that it hadn't been a game, she smiled softly,
"Play it again?"

        And sweet
        sweet
        sweet surrender
        is all that I have to give

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
comments to anteros@juno.com

The Tracy/Nightwatch challenge: "Write a story where Tracy requests a
song on Nightwatch. Doesn't have to be a romance between LC and Tracy,
could be she's taunting him, or could be that it has nothing to do with
LC at all.  Have fun!"