My Immortal--a Forever Knight story

By April French

Author's Note:

A friend of mine loaned me her Evanescence CD, and this song jumped out at
me like a desperate cat at the animal shelter. Just a 'what if' kind of
story, one I hope to God, Goddess and Little Fairy Child never happened.
'Cause, you know, rose-tint my world. The song belongs to Evanescence, N&N
belong to the FK PTBs... I own nothing but the story and the blood in my
veins. And frankly, Nick's welcome to that. :-P Praise, comments, criticisms
and kudos will be rewarded with freshly baked lembas. All nasty flames will
be tossed to the Balrog. This story will be archived with all the others at
my site http://www.geocities.com/runeshard/fkficindex.html Permission to
archive given to FKFIC, FKFIC2, and the FTP site. All others must first
bribe me with Legolas Greenleaf (can you tell what I've been reading lately?
::grin::).

~~~

My Immortal (1/1)

He had left her his loft, and nearly everything in it. All his books, his
paintings, all the artifacts he'd collected over the centuries and all the
music he had ever composed. The piano, though, was silent, the candles atop
it unlit, and so many of the paintings were unfinished.

i'm so tired of being here

suppressed by all of my childish fears

The dust was thick, and if she stood very still, and waited, she could
almost see a shadow of his figure, moving through the dust.

and if you have to leave

i wish that you would just leave

She couldn't bear it much longer.

because your presence still lingers here

and it won't leave me alone

How long had it been since Nick had left? Five years? Ten, twenty? Natalie
had lost track. What did it matter, they were all the same. Dull, lifeless,
sleepless... pointless. The day shift or the night shift... antiseptic
morgues in cookie-cutter towns and cities that sapped her of all optimism
and joy. It worried what little family she had left, to see her wandering
from city to city, but she couldn't stay in Toronto for long. And yet, she
was not looking for Nick.

She never wanted to see him again.

these wounds won't seem to heal

this pain is just too real

there's just too much that time cannot erase

They had been crutches for each other for five years, friends and shoulders
to cry on.

when you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears

when you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears

But five years for Nick was a very different thing, barely a blink. Barely a
breath. And he'd left his crutch behind. He would stumble a few times until
he regained his balance, but then he would stand straight and unaided, and
in time he would forget that he had ever leaned on her for support.

and i've held your hand through all of these years

It was taking Natalie far longer to regain her own two feet, but she would
do it. If Nick could do it, she could do it. She just didn't heal quite as
fast as Nick did.

but you still have all of me

The loft looked almost exactly as it had all those years ago, when he had
simply picked up and left after Tracy's death. No word to anyone. Had he
taken anything with him? She walked slowly toward the fireplace and the
sitting area. There was a box on the side table; she opened it. There was
the beautiful old cross that Nick had been given by Joan of Arc. He had
treasured that ancient bit of wood. The jade Mayan cup that he had hoarded
and guarded so jealously was covered in cobwebs. All the clocks had stopped
at the exact same time...

you used to captivate me

by your resonating light

but now i'm bound by the life you left behind

All their great expectations shattered like champagne glasses, the fragments
crunching under their feet.

your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams

your voice it chased away all the sanity in me

She was so tired. It was hard to sleep now, without seeing his face.
Sometimes, when she was working, she would hear his voice and look up,
joyful and indignant, only to see the uncertain looks of her co-workers.
Whenever that happened, it was time to find a new job. To move on.

these wounds won't seem to heal

this pain is just too real

there's just too much that time cannot erase

She'd already been in Toronto for too long. Barely a day, but she was seeing
him out of the corner of her eye, hearing him call her name... even feeling
his fingers on her shoulder. But it had been twenty years. She had learned
to ignore those pretty fragments.

i've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone

and though you're still with me

i've been alone all along

But he... he wouldn't leave her alone. Or rather, the memory of him. Nick
had left her, never to return. But his memory drove her on and drove her
away, draining her and giving her the will to keep going.

when you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears

when you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears

and i've held your hand through all of these years

He had taken something when he had left. He had taken the better part of
her.

The couch was dusty but it still looked comfortable, and she was tired. She
laid herself down on it, her curly, greying hair mingling with the dust and
the past, and the last thing she heard before darkness claimed her was a
familiar voice softly breathing her name.

but you still have all of me

~Finis--April 24th, 2003~

~Forever Knight: The Sons of Lilith~
http://www.geocities.com/runeshard/fkficindex.html
~The Corvina~ http://www.geocities.com/runeshard/index.html
"And we shall exist by amusing ourselves, by dreaming of monstrous loves and
fantastic universes, by complaining and quarreling with the pretenses of the
world..."
                            --"The Flash of Lightning" by Arthur Rimbaud