**>HI everyone! this is my second Nick/Nat story. It may be a little unsettling for some. It is an ADULT story, so please file it under the JADFE list, Nick/Nat heading. You may also post on the fanfic site, under and adult heading. This is part one. Part two is in the works. Let me know what you think of this. You can e-mail me at kcsmith@hotmail.com Nick/Nat and all of the others, belong to Sony/TriStar, I just like to borrow them for my own purposes. I promise to give them back. Really! Enjoy! LOVE ALMOST LOST *Part one* * Nick Knight sat at his desk, reading the autopsy report on the Marshall case. As usual, Nat had done a very thorough job. He looked up at his partners, wondering how much longer Captain Reese would keep Tracy here. He was glad to have Schanke back from his leave, but didn't want to lose Tracy. She was a good cop. "You two find anything?" He asked them. Schanke snorted and shook his head. "Nada. It's like looking for a needle in a haystack. Geez, you'd think after four murders, this guy'd slip enough to give us a clue." "Yeah, well, it kind of messes up the evidence when you set fire to everything." Tracy said, making a face. "I don't know how Nat can stand it. Four burned bodies..." She shivered a bit. Schanke looked at Nick. "How *IS* Nat?" He asked in concern. Nick gave a small sigh and smiled sadly at him. "As well as can be expected. She came to the loft last night after shift. You know how she is, though. Tough as nails and stubborn. She's trying not to let it show." Schanke nodded in understanding. "Yeah. Sometimes I wonder if she has any feminine instincts at all, other times, I'm glad she hides them. Myra certainly admires her. So does Jenny." Tracy frowned at the two men. "I think I'm missing part of this conversation." Nick looked at Tracy, surprised. He sometimes forgot that she hadn't always been a part of the team. "Nat has a difficult time with burn victims. Something that happened when she was young. She tries not to let on, but they really upset her." A young officer ran into the station. Breathlessly, he asked, "Where's Cap'n Reese?" Schanke looked at him and noticed the wild look in his eyes. He also noticed the way everyone's attention was now on the young man. "He's in his office--" "Peters? What's going on?" Captain Reese asked, as he came out of his office to find out what the commotion was. "Cap'n. Th--There's been an explosion--a bomb went off--" Officer Peters stammered. "Calm down son. Where was the explosion?" Reese asked, placing a hand on the boy's shoulder. "At the Coroner's Building." He was shaking. "Bomb squad and emergency units are en route." Something in Nick froze in cold fear. He looked at the young man in front of him. "Where in the Coroner's Building?" He asked, well aware that they might not yet know. The young man looked sadly at Nick. He knew they were close, everyone did. "Dr. Lambert's lab." He almost whispered. Nick felt someone's hand on his arm. He didn't know who's. He didn't care. "Natalie..."He said softly. He felt the anger and grief well up inside of him. No! She had to be all right. Maybe she wasn't in there. Maybe she had already gone home. He wouldn't give up until-- until there was a body found. "I've got to find her!" Nick said. Before anyone could stop him, he was out the door. * * * * * Nick surveyed the scene, moments after he landed. There were fire crews, black and whites, ambulances, more vehicles and uniforms he did and didn't recognize. He searched the faces of those being treated by the EMT's, looking for the one face that mattered most. He spotted Grace, sitting in the back of one ambulance. She had a nasty looking cut over her left eye and was visibly shaking. He moved to her. "Grace? Are you all right? Have you seen Nat?" He asked her. At the sight of Nick, Grace began to sob. She knew they were close, everyone did. He pulled her into an embrace, just holding her for several minutes. Finally, she pulled away, wiping at her cheeks. "She was in there, Nick. She had just finished the autopsy on a suicide victim, when they brought in another body. Priority case from South. They needed it done tonight. Nat said she would finish 'tucking in' her last patient, then start on it. I went to the break room, to get her some coffee. Next thing I know, there's a loud noise and I'm thrown against the sink counter. I came to and was brought out here. Nick, she was in there!" Her sobs began again and she moved back into his arms. He held her, as much to comfort himself, as to comfort her. Nat was in there. He saw Captain Reese, Schanke, and Tracy talking to a member of the bomb squad. "Grace, I have to go talk to the Captain. I'll see you soon." He disengaged from her embrace and kissed her forehead, then turned and walked over to where the others stood. The bomb squad officer looked at Nick as he approached, then looked at the ground. He knew they were close, everyone did. "Detective Knight. I was just telling Captain Reese that the explosion has caved in one section of the roof. We can't get to Dr. Lambert's lab for at least half an hour. We're doing our best. I'm sorry." Nick looked at the man in front of him. "Thank you, I know you are. Is everyone, besides Dr. Lambert, accounted for?" He asked. He thought it best to stay in his 'professional cop' mode. That way, he wouldn't have to think about his grief and loneliness. He wouldn't give up hope. He wouldn't. Captain Reese answered. "Given how late it is, there were only about a dozen people in there. All but Natalie and Dr. Wiest are accounted for. No known fatalaties, but it wasn't as powerful a bomb as it could have been. I think it was meant as a warning. Look." Nick took the paper from his Captain and read the words pasted on it. "It stops here." 'What stops here?' He wondered. Handing the paper back to Reese, he asked him, "Any idea who sent it?" "No. Although it may be the killer that's been burning his victims. He may be trying to stop us from finding him. Or, it just may be someone else. I don't know. Nick, they say Nat was in her lab when the bomb went off. It may not have been powerful enough to have destroyed the building, but..." He trailed off his sentence at the hard look on Nick's face. "Until I see her body for myself, Captain, I won't accept that she's gone. I can't." He relaxed a bit at Reese's understanding nod. He knew they were close, everyone did. "Is there anything I can do to help?" Nick asked the bomb squad officer. "Just stay out from underfoot. We'll let you know the minute we find anything... or anyone." Nick nodded, but the frustration he was feeling was made worse by the knowledge that he could do something, if he wanted to risk exposing himself as a vampire. * * * * *The first thing she was aware of, was the pain in her back. It was a stabbing, relentless pain. The next thing she noticed, was the cold surface beneath her hands and cheek. She could feel it, to a lesser degree, along the front of her body as well. She was so cold. She carefully opened her eyes. It was dark in here and it smelled terrible. What was that awful smell? She knew she should recognize it, but somehow, the name eluded her. She carefully lifted her head, then dropped it back to the cold surface beneath her, as a wave of pain and nausea washed through her. Where was she? 'Okay, Lambert. What is the last thing you remember?' She thought to herself. She concentrated for a moment. Ah, yes. She had just finished the Kading suicide, when Jerry brought her a hot one from South. She decided to put Liz Kading into the cold storage herself, before beginning the next autopsy. Ever since her trip to L.A., she was wearing thinner and thinner. She wanted to run from this life, screaming. But she didn't, because of Nick. Because she loved him. Nat thought about her trip to L.A. She shuddered again, as she remembered. She had been sent there to attend a Medical Examiner's conference, as one of the scheduled speakers. After the last night of the conference, Nat had met a friend for drinks at a local club. Her friend had picked up someone, then left with him. Nat had gone out the side door of the club, to look for her rental car. Before she knew what was happening, she was grabbed from behind and dragged down the nearby alley. A glimpse of red eyes and razor sharp fangs had stopped her cold. At first, she had thought it was an Enforcer. But as she felt the hand that closed around one of her breasts, she realized it was probably just a local, looking for a warm meal... "Don't fight, sweetheart. I promise you, you'll love this." He growled softly in her ear. Natalie took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. She knew her best course of action would be to stay calm. Who was she kidding? She was about to die. He unbuttoned her blouse, then undid the clasp on the front of her bra. He captured one of her soft, full breasts, as it was released from the lace and swirled a finger over the tip. He spun her around, so that she was facing him, pushing her against a nearby wall. He began to kiss her, roughly grabbing her chin and holding her head still. As he ran his tongue along the vein on her neck, he laughed softly. "Don't fight me, sweetheart. It'll only be worse for you." Natalie was frightened, but some part of her mind was trying to decipher how much longer she had. If taking blood was a sexual act for vampires, the way they reached a climax, how much 'foreplay' was involved? Was there any way for her to escape this? She noticed that he kept trying to capture her gaze, trying to hypnotize her into submission. When he finally did manage to capture her gaze, she pretended to surrender to him. Who knows how he'd react if she didn't? The vampire appeared to be a young man, less than thirty, with large dark eyes and reddish-brown hair. He smiled as Natalie seemed to fall under his hypnotic spell. "That's it. Surrender yourself to me. I'll make this so good for you." He whispered to her, as he moved his hands over her soft flesh. He kissed her, hard and passionately. He began to kiss her jaw, down the length of her neck. He continued his downward trail to her bare breasts, lightly licking the pink-tipped centers, which were hard from the cool air. He smiled as she shivered and began to gently suckle on them. At the same time, he reached down under her skirt, tearing away the silk and lace panties she wore. He slipped one finger inside of her, moving it in and out slowly. Natalie stifled the wave of nausea and revulsion she felt. She knew her body was just reacting to the stimulation it was receiving. She hated this. She hated him for doing this. Why had she come here? She knew how dangerous it was for her to be here alone at night. And that was just the threat from the mortal men around her. After four years of interaction with Nick and the vampires of Toronto, she should know that it is nothing short of suicidal go out alone at night. She felt herself being lowered onto some cardboard boxes on the ground, then felt his weight on her, as he fell on top of her and entered her. Natalie fought the urge to cry. She knew that she only had Moments to live, but she couldn't let him see her cry. She suddenly felt his hands on her back and sharp pain as he dug his fingernails into her skin, leaving long, deep scratches in her back. She couldn't stop the whimper of pain that escaped her throat. But her attacker didn't seem to notice. He was thrusting into her, fast and hard, clawing at her back, and scraping the skin of her neck and breasts with his fangs. She saw him rear his head back, felt his fangs as they entered her neck. A flurry of images and intense feelings washed through her, as she began to lose consciousness. She knew she was dying, but didn't seem to care. There was a sudden blast of air and Natalie felt the weight upon her disappear. She heard hissing and growling noises, as if two animals were fighting nearby. She looked up in time to see two men plunge a stake into the heart of the vampire that had attacked her, as a woman knelt near her and spoke softly. "We must get you to a hospital. You have played this game long enough to know not to tell them what attacked you. Come." Natalie vaguely recognized the voice. She felt herself lifted from the ground and felt a sudden upward jolt, just before she passed out... <>Now, as Natalie lay on the cold floor, in the dark, she sobbed. She hadn't cried once since it happened three weeks ago. But here in the dark, the memories were so vivid, so real, she couldn't help it. So she cried. Her last thought before she fell unconscious was of Nick. How would he react if he knew what had happened to her? * * * * *Officers Hastings and O'Neal looked around the lab where the bomb had detonated. They knew what they were looking for. The body of Dr. Natalie Lambert. It saddened everyone to think that such a beautiful and bright young woman should die so suddenly and horribly. But the more they looked, the more confused they became. There was no sign of her. Even if she had been blown apart, a thought no one cared to voice aloud, there should have been some indication. Officer Votaw looked over to the far side of the room, noticing the door to the cold storage area. If she was in there when the blast went off... "Hey, you guys! Come give me a hand here!" He called. The team ran over to help him clear away the debris that was blocking the door. As they struggled to pull it open, they could feel some of the tension disappear. As the door was pried open, someone brought in another flashlight. Officer Votaw carefully shined the light inside. "Get the EMT's in here, now!" He called. "She's here! We found her." He leaned down and saw that she was breathing, though unconscious. She had a nasty bump on the left side of her forehead and her back was covered in blood. Better not to move her. Just wait for the experts. Two EMT's came in and started right away. They checked her pulse, her blood pressure, and her breathing. Next, they started an IV line. One of them used a pair of scissors to cut away her scrubs, then began checking out the cuts on her back. "What the hell...?" He muttered to himself, as he saw the healed or healing claw marks on her back. The blood was coming from one that had been reopened, and a cut from a piece of glass that was sticking out of her back. He carefully removed the glass, then cleaned and dressed the cuts on her back. They would need stitches, but could wait until they got her to the hospital. In less than fifteen minutes, they had her on a stretcher, heading for a waiting ambulance. * * * * *Nick paced impatiently outside the Coroner's Building. The waiting was making him crazy. He wouldn't leave, not until he knew. Schanke came up to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Nick, maybe you should go home. It's almost sunrise. We wouldn't want to aggravate that allergy of yours. You look beat. I promise to call you the minute we hear anything." Nick looked at his partner, his friend. How could he make him understand that if Nat were dead, he would be watching his first sunrise in eight centuries? How could he tell him that without her, he didn't want to go on in this miserable existence? And why the hell hadn't he told her, before it was too late? A commotion near the building caught their attention, as Captain Reese came over to them. "Nick, they've found her. Come on, we need you over here. I don't know if she's alive or not, just that they've found her." He placed a hand on Nick's elbow, as they made their way through the crowd of people near the building's entrance. Natalie came to and felt a stabbing pain. It was lighter now, she could see, and she was moving. She looked up and saw the face of an EMT, then other faces, as she was moved down a corridor. One of the people smiled at her as she was pushed past a large crowd. But there was only one face she was looking for. Nick and Captain Reese made their way through the crowd, then stopped as they saw her being pushed toward the waiting ambulance. Nick sighed in relief, as he saw her blue eyes, looking around. He came up to her side, and smiled. "Nat, oh Nat. Thank God, you're alive." He leaned forward and kissed her forehead, then placed his cheek on it, being careful of the bump on her head. "Nick..." Her voice was little more than a whisper. "I'm here, Nat. Just rest. I'm here." Nick said soothingly. "Nick... I love you..." She whispered to him, knowing he could hear her. Nick lightly kissed her forehead and then her lips. He leaned close to her ear. "I love you, too, Nat. I love you, too." He looked up and saw the look of relief on the faces of their friends. Grace, Schanke, Tracy, Captain Reese and others. He smiled at them and nodded, as they lifted Nat into the ambulance. "Detective Knight? Would you like to ride with her to the hospital?" Asked one of the Techs. He knew they were close, everyone did. Nick nodded. "Yeah. If it's okay." He smiled. "Come on." Nick hopped into the back of the ambulance. He turned as he heard Captain Reese's voice. "We'll meet you there. Nick? I'm glad she's alive. And I'm glad you didn't give up on her." He smiled at his star detective, then moved aside as they closed the door to the ambulance. "Did you see the way they looked at each other?" Schanke asked, as they watched the ambulance pull away. "Man, oh man, if that ain't love, I don't know what is." Reese looked at Schanke. "Yeah. I just don't know why they don't act on it. Seems a shame to me. Maybe this will help them to see what the rest of us see, and to realize what's really important." They turned to head to the car, so they could get to the hospital. * * * * *Nick paced the floor of the waiting room, waiting to hear about Nat. Schanke, Grace, Tracy and Cpt. Reese had come to the hospital, too. They watched him pace around the room. "Nick! Sit down, will ya! You're worse than an expectant father." Schanke said. Nick stopped short at the image that conjured up. How he wished they were awaiting the birth of his and Nat's child, instead of waiting to hear whether or not she was still alive. Dr. Carpenter came in and introduced himself. "I'm looking for Natalie Lambert's next of kin?" He inquired. Schanke jerked a thumb in Nick's direction. "He's as close as you'll get." Dr. Carpenter looked at Nick. "Fiancee?" Nick shook his head. "No. Just a close friend. Nat doesn't have any family here in Toronto. We're her family, here." He indicated the group around him. Dr. Carpenter smiled. He understood. All too well. "All right, then. Natalie is in stable condition. She's got a concussion, a few cracked ribs, and a broken ankle." He referred to his notes. "I need to know where she was treated when she was raped, so I can get her records." He stopped at the shocked look on the faces before him. "Raped?" Nick asked, frowning. "What are you talking about?" Dr. Carpenter raised an eyebrow. "She didn't tell you?" He shook his head sadly. "Some victims don't want to talk about it, so I'm not surprised. She has several scars and a cut or two that are still healing, on her back and chest. My guess from those and the other evidence, suggests approximately three weeks ago. Have you noticed any change in her behavior in the last three weeks?" Nick sat numbly in a nearby chair. Why hadn't she told him? He thought over the last three weeks, how Nat had been acting. "Her trip to L.A. was supposed to last only a week, but she had called to say she was staying an extra week. She said something had come up, but she wouldn't say what. She sounded really tired, but I'm sort of used to that. She tends to keep going until she's ready to drop." He told Dr. Carpenter. He nooded. "When was that?" He asked. "Well, about three weeks ago. The timing's right. Why wouldn't she tell me?" Nick asked. "Victims of sexual assault often feel embarrassed or ashamed, even though they shouldn't. They don't want people to look at, or treat them, differently, so they hide it. Especially women as strong and self-reliant as Natalie. Have you noticed any unusual behavior in her, since she returned?" He asked Nick. "Well, she hasn't seemed to have as much energy, lately, like she isn't getting enough rest. She flinched for the first few days after she returned from her trip, every time I hugged her or kissed her. I thought maybe I had done something to upset her, again, because it passed after a few days." He thought back to the first few days after Nat had come home. "She didn't want to go home. She slept on my couch for the first three days, then when I asked her about it, she said it was nothing. The next night, she slept at home. I guess, now that I know, her behavior makes more sense." He sighed. Who could have done such a thing to her? He would find the bastard and kill him. "Can I see her?" "Yes, in a few minutes. They're getting ready to place her in a room. We're going to keep her a few days, until we're certain that there's no serious physical damage. I'll also get one of our staff counselor's to talk to her. She needs to talk about what happened to her. Both the rape and the explosion." He looked at the group of people in the waiting room. "Natalie is very lucky to have all of you for support. You may see her, two at a time, but don't stay too long, and try not to upset her. I'll keep you posted on her condition." He shook their hands, then turned to leave. Grace had tears in her eyes, as she whispered, "So that's what it was all about." Nick turned to face her. "What do you mean, Grace?" "Natalie came by the office about four days after she returned from L.A. She asked if she could crash at my place for a few days, because they were painting at her place. Over the next few days, she acted a little odd. Nothing major, just little things, but they all make sense, now." Schanke shook his head in disbelief. "Who could do something like that to her? Man, oh man. She's such a sweet little thing. No wonder she's looked so wiped out lately. Between this case, and that, I'd have lost it a long time ago. I knew she was tough, but I had no idea..." He saw the pained look in Nick's eyes. This must be killing him. "Nick, she's going to need you to be strong for her. Talk to her. Don't try to force it, but just be there if she needs you." Captain Reese told him. "Give her some time to work through this." Nick nodded. "Why don't you guys go and see her, first? Tell her I'll be there in a few minutes." He needed to take some time to pull himself together. "Okay. C'mon Schanke. Let's go let her know how glad we are she's okay. But we'll keep it short, and don't mention the assault." He looked at Nick. "I'll contact L.A. P.D., see what they can tell us." "Yeah, thanks, Cap." Nick answered. As Captain Reese and Schanke left to go visit Nat, Grace came up and put her hand on Nick's shoulder. "You know, Detective, we almost lost her tonight. I love that little girl like my kid sister. I don't know what it is that keeps you two apart. Nat only says that it's 'complicated'. But whatever it is, ask yourself this, is what you stand to gain worth the risk you have to take? If she had died, never having known how you feel, how would you be feeling right now? Think about it. She needs you, now. I've watched you two for the last four years. I watched you two become close friends. I watched you two fall in love. And I've seen that through everything that you've gone through in the last four years, Nat has always been there for you. She's put up with your moodiness, treated your ailments, listened to your problems and tolerated the way you ignore her needs. Isn't it about time she starts getting, instead of always giving? Think about it, Detective." Grace motioned to Tracy, who had sat in stunned silence, then they left Nick in the waiting room. Nick sat alone in the waiting room for several minutes, thinking about what Grace had said. She was right. Nat was always giving. She took care of him. When he was shot in the head, Nat was there to take care of him. When he lost Erica, Nat was there to comfort him. When Janette reappeared, Nat covered for him. How many other times since he had known her had she done things like that for him? Too many. Too many times, she gave to him, never asking for anything in return. Would it be so terrible for him to tell her how much he appreciated her? To tell her 'Thank You'? To tell her how much he loved her? True it would put her in danger, but she already was. She knew that. She accepted that. And yet, she loved him, anyway. Though it may destroy her, she did it-all of it-anyway. Nick stood to his feet, a new resolve set in his heart and mind. She had given him four years of her short, mortal existence. He would make sure, from this moment on, that she knew just how much she meant to him. No matter what. <>To be continued... KCSmith