Permission is hereby granted to archive this story at Mel's site, Anita's
FK2 site, and Steph's FK site - anyone else, please ask me first. I don't
own LaCroix/Lucius, or Nicholas, or St George, though I think I can lay
claim to Nero and Daisy.... And I'm not making any money out of this, so
there's no point in anyone sueing me!

Today is 23rd April, and if you're English, that mean's it's St George's
Day. You know - the guy who killed the dragon. Not that dragons are any more
real than say.... vampires.... So I got to thinking about the legend, which
dates back many centuries and wondered "Who do we know of that is old enough
to have been around in 3rd Century Silene in what is now Libya? And what
*would* Uncle have said or done about a real life dragon - or the Christian
knight who killed it?"

And you're right - a Cousin really shouldn't go around asking herself
questions like that - they tend to start yelling at me for an answer....
Only trouble was, I came up with two alternate answers, and couldn't decide
which one I liked best. Especially as, the later it got, the sillier the
stories got. So I thought I'd let the rest of the FK fans decide that one.
Story number two, St George and the Vampire, will be posted tomorrow (still
got a couple of kinks to sort out....)

LaCroix and the Dragon 01/02

Once, as a Roman legate, he would have scoffed at dragons. But then, once he
would have scoffed at the idea of vampires, supernatural creatures of the
night... So when Lucius in the course of his journeying heard rumours that
there was a dragon in the area around the town of Silene he was intrigued.
And not just because the town bore virtually the same name as his long dead
mistress. Her daughter Divia had once told him that dragons were of limited
intelligence, but with a keen sense of smell, and could distinguish between
humans (which they thought tasty) and vampires (which for some reason they
didn't seem to like to eat). "Maybe we give them indigestion" he thought to
himself. "Whatever the reason, it sounds as if a vampire can approach a
dragon with limited risk - especially if he comes bearing gifts. And a
drained body will surely taste just as good as one with its' blood intact to
the dragon. Which will allow me to dispose of my victims in such a way that
I won't be the one who gets the blame! And who is going to attack a
fire-breathing dragon? Hmm..... this scheme sounds viable....."

Which it was. Well, at least it was after those few hairy moments when he
first approached, as the dragon grabbed for the victim slung over his
shoulders, almost taking off his own head in the process. Fortunately for us
all, Lucius had *very* fast reflexes and had been expecting an overly eager
dragon. It may have been of limited intelligence, but within a week, the
dragon had figured out that the nice vampire with the short silvery hair
could be relied on to bring him lots of tasty meals, virtually one a night.
Why hunt out when you can dine in?

Eventually, LaCroix decided he need a name for the dragon. "Hey you!" and
"Dragon" were getting boring. Having served as a young officer under one of
Rome's most infamous emperors, it didn't take him long to settle on Nero, as
a crude gesture against the former emperor. "At least this Nero really is a
powerful creature worthy of even my respect," he muttered. "And he's just as
dangerous and as much a killer as his namesake - and as stupid." Nero didn't
even mind when his caterer moved into the cave next to his. In his dim way,
the creature realised this gave him advance warning of a hunt, and time to
build up a nice little appetite for tonight's meal.

Sadly, all good things come to an end, and so did Lucius' relationship with
his pet dragon Nero. Not that he *ever* kept pets, you understand. It would,
after all, have been a weakness.

The town of Silene had long been aware of the dragon, and been keeping it
appeased with a couple of sheep every night. But was that enough to satisfy
the beast? Noooo! It had been spotted flying out of its' cave on several
occassions, and people regularly disappeared, never to be seen again.
Stories that it appeared to be the size and shape of a man, and was able to
open doors were disregarded by most. After all, it was a dragon - why bother
trying to embellish the tale? It must have been the victims who opened the
doors and were foolish enough to go out at night, alone....

As word spread, a whole series of would-be heroes arrived in Silene to try
and kill the dragon. Not that it did them any good at alll - Nero would
obliging lumber out of his cave, seer would-be hero into toast and then haul
his latest meal back into the cave to be munched on at his leisure. However,
a new breed of warrior was growing up within the Empire - Christians who
were also trained soldiers, and who fought on two fronts - with more
conventional weapons and with the weapons of their church. Eventually - and
perhaps with the fast growth of this still fairly new faith, inevitably -
one of their kind arrived in Silene.

Georgios, a former Tribune in the Roman army, had been born and raised a
Christian, resigning his post in protest at the way the Emperor, Diocletian,
was persecuting members of his faith. Looking for a new cause, and a way to
show all those non-believers that his was the one true faith, he chanced to
hear about Silene's not so little problem. "Hmmm.... this could be it", he
figured. "Silene, here I come! But first - a visit to the bishop for some
holy water and a blessed cross.... You never know when they'll be needed,
and if they aren't needed to defeat the beastie, they'll be helpful in
converting the locals." (Funny how these ancients spoke early 21st century
Anglo/American, isn't it?)

Being a former soldier, and a smart one at that, when Georgios arrived in
Silene, the first thing he did was to ask for a detailed description of what
had happened to all his predecessors. "So.... none of them used a horse, did
they?" he asked the gossips at the local inn, thinking of his magnificent
white charger, Daisy. (Look, the previous owner's little girl named it,
okay? and that was what the apparently stupid horsey instead on answering
to!) "And they all attacked the dragon in daylight too?" Suddenly
inspiration struck (and very painful it was too!). He'd attack at night,
when the dragon was sleepy and so most vulnerable. Great! He had a plan!

Two nights later, Georgios and Daisy were peering carefully from a nearby
clump of bushes at the dreaded cave. Or rather caves, since it didn't take
Georgios long to figure out that there were actually several of them. So,
which one held the dragon? He watched, and he waited. And then just for a
change he waited and he watched. Daisy - who was not as stupid as *his* (not
her) rider thought he was - had already figured it out. "Sheesh! Dumb human!
Can't you smell the reek from here? And can't you see the pile of bones and
other refuse outside that big one over there?" Daisy got fed up with waiting
and decided to give Georgios a strong hint. So he turned around, and kicked
him donkey-fashion, in the... urmmm.... keister, shall we say? and sent his
rider sailing through the air to land practically on top of the bones Daisy
had spotted.

Georgios didn't know which emotion to give in to first - fury at his horse
for kicking him, abject terror at landing almost at the dragon's feet, or
elation at realising that was the cave he was searching for! Abject terror -
and common sense - won out, and he carefully and very very very quietly
retreated from the cave mouth. He never knew how lucky he was that night -
Lucius had already hunted that night, and so Nero was too busy with dinner
to bother with some commotion among the trash pile outside his door.
Probably those local dogs come scavenging again. But he really couldn't be
bothered to find out - which was to prove fatal for poor old Nero.

The next night, Georgios and Daisy were back, and armed for dragon - lance
doused in holy water, blessed cross, sword (also doused in holy water), bow
and arrows ...(Yep! You guessed it - more holy water! Maybe they should hire
him to advertise LaCroix water.... Then again, maybe not....) Sneaking up to
the dragon's cave on foot, Georgios waited till the last possible moment
before mounting Daisy and charging up the last hundred paces or so. Lucius
wasn't hunting tonight, so Nero was literally caught napping, and had to
scrabble up from his sleeping area in response to the sudden racket, getting
himself all caught up in the bedding along the way. Lucius' acute vampire
hearing gave him the edge, and he came out, his own sword in hand to see
what was going on.

Georgios was surprised to see another human emerge from the adjacent cave,
but on seeing the sword figured he had either help or competition. Dragons
have a well-deserved reputation for being tough to kill, so he quickly made
the decision to team up with this new guy. "Brother!" he called out. "Do you
come to slay the foul beast too? Why don't we join forces and share the
danger and the glory together? I have more holy water here - it will give
you and your sword great protection against the great worm!"

Lucius' original plan, which he'd used once before with a potential
dragon-killer, was to go along with the idea - till the little moron
mentioned 'holy water'. He'd heard about these Christians, and knew that
their holy water was anethema to vampires. "By your words you are one of
those accursed Christians!" he yelled back. "I'll not fight along side such
as you. I'll let you wear the dragon out, and get yourself killed. Then I'll
come in and kill the dragon myself. Nice horse by the way - *do* try and
keep the dragon from killing the horse as well as yourself. I could do with
a decent mount." Having thus infuriated Georgios, Lucius retired to his
cave, to keep well clear of the holy water, not to mention the cross he
could see around his neck.

He never knew the effect his words actually had. Daisy was smitten. This was
a man who appreciated him, who didn't want him to be killed. Never mind that
he was also a vampire (told you this horse wasn't stupid). Georgios, on the
other hand, had spent the afternoon telling Daisy that if they were killed,
they'd be reunited in some place called 'Paradise'. Well, that was all well
and good, but Daisy just didn't fancy being killed, thank you very much. So,
what to do about it?

Just then, Nero finally got himself and his bedding sorted out, and started
to charge at the intruders. Daisy had no intention of facing down an irate
dragon, and so he bucked like a rodeo pony, and sent Georgios hurtling over
his head, lance still gripped firmly in one hand, sword still firmly
clutched in the other, straight for - Hey! You guessed again! Stop getting
ahead of the storyline. Besides, who's (re)telling this tale anyway? - poor
old Nero. Well, the lance went straight down his throat, and the sword got
him right in the left eye, and that was it. Except for...

Lucius, listening in the adjacent cave, was livid. His Nero was dead, his
personal pet dragon (not that he kept pets, as stated earlier). "That
Christian is gonna pay for this," he muttered. "And I don't mean a quick
draining, either. I want him to die slowly, very slowly.... Wonder what the
current preferred methods are for executing condemned Christians? Bother
that, who do I have to whammy?" He smiled to himself - and if cave walls
could shiver, they would have done so at the sight of that smile....

The legends of how "St George" died are various and gruesome - forced to
swallow poison, crushed between two spiked wheels, boiled in a cauldron of
molten lead, being some of the tales that have survived. I'll let you decide
which method a certain ticked-off Roman vampire chose to repay the 'debt' of
his Nero's death.

(And by the way - now you know why he didn't want Nicholas to have a pet
dog. Pets make you weak...)

And Yes, he did get to keep Daisy, and the partnership lasted for several
years till Daisy grew too old to be galavanting around the country, and was
traded in for a later model. (Well, there's fellas for you!)