Author's notes:

This is my first Forever Knight fanfic ever, so all feedback
appreciated. Even if you're just writing to say it sucked, as long as
you tell me why it sucked and how not to suck the next time... okay,
bad choice of words, perhaps, considering the venue. ;)

This takes place mid-second season, everything up to and including BMV
is assumed to have happened. Okay? Okay.

Archive: whoever wants it is welcome, my work is always free to a good
home.

Oh, and don't be misled by the title, this is not an adult fic. ;)


"Getting Physical" by Eve


"Hi, Nat... sorry I'm late."

He's been standing behind me--how long, I have no idea. His kiss upon
my cheek is customarily cool and feather-light. "No problem," I
murmur, and deliberately avoid turning to face him... Nick tends to
distract me from my work. To put it mildly.

"Summer, you know, days are getting longer..."

I peer into the microscope. "Uh-huh."

"And I had to stop for gas on the way..."

"Yeah." I triple-check my results without actually looking at the
numbers, then finally give up and look over my shoulder.

It's apparent that something is *up*. As a general rule Nick moves
smoothly, effortlessly--one minute he's in the door, the next minute
he's only a few inches away from my ear. Makes me jump, but I've come
to regard it as par for the course. But this... this is a noticeable
deviation from the norm.

He stands in the middle of the room, hands hidden behind his back,
rocking ever-so-slightly up and down on the balls of his feet. He's
got an odd, quirky little grin on his face, and his posture is so
rigid that I'm tempted to give him a shove and yell "Timber!" He
seems, not nervous, exactly, but... expectant. Poised, ready to
pounce.

It can't be the impending physical examination that's making him edgy.
We've been doing this once a month for--I was about to say, *for what
seems like an eternity*, but suffice it to say it's been quite a
while... and he's never shown the slightest qualms about letting me
examine him. I guess when you're eight hundred years old and eternally
youthful, modesty becomes less of an issue.

I look him up and down; not a hair out of place, as usual. Even his
clothes look like he bought them on the way over: his jeans are so new
the denim is blue-black. A crisp white t-shirt, set in stark relief
against the soft line of his spotless black overcoat, minimizes the
pallor of his face. He's clean-shaven, his hair combed back in soft
amber waves and still slightly damp, as though he got out of the
shower about half an hour ago. All signs point to a rare phenomenon I
call
Morning Nick--fresh from a good day's rest and ready to go out there
on the streets and get shot, stabbed, blown up, burned, smacked
around, and generally roughed up. And that's just on his nights off.

His left hand is still behind his back; the other doesn't seem quite
sure what to do with itself, first reaching for my shoulder, then
plucking at my lapel, before falling away to pick imaginary
lint from the front of his coat. Curiouser and curiouser. When I shoot
him a quizzical look, he mirrors my expression teasingly, one eyebrow
raised. Just my luck. Morning Nick wants to play.

Nonplussed, I peel off my latex gloves and drop them into the trash. I
rarely bother with them when examining Nick--it's not likely he's
going to catch anything from me. I move towards the door, but he must
have closed and locked it when he came in. Damn those quick reflexes
of his.

"Shall we?" I gesture to the nearest table. I've technically got ten
minutes left on my lunch break, so we can afford a leisurely pace and
a little small talk. Although, rest assured, flying rumours would
abound if someone with a key--Grace, say--happened to mosey in and
find the inscrutable Detective Knight hanging around the morgue in a
state of undress in his off-hours. Although, thanks to his condition
(I'm assuming), he isn't usually affected by the cold air in any way
that might damage his reputation...

He grins. It's disarming, although I can't shake the sensation that he
knows exactly where my thoughts were just now. "Of course. But first--
" The hidden hand emerges at last, and proffers what looks to be a
moderately expensive box of chocolates. "These are for you."

"I--" the wisecrack I want to make suddenly sinks into the fathomless
blue of his eyes, lost forever. All I can do is stammer, "Uh, thanks,
uh, Nick... Yeah."

It would be an understatement to say that Nick Knight often surprises
me. I mean, let's be honest here: he continually takes every myth I've
ever managed to concoct, consciously or otherwise, about human nature,
and blows it clean out of the water. But the single most
astounding thing about him is the fact that, despite his age and
incredible experience, he remains, at heart, so very *innocent*.

"They're okay?" He's still holding out the box. I'm still not taking
it. We must look like complete idiots. More grist for the rumour mill
if anyone comes in. No one does. I'm almost disappointed, funny
enough.

Suddenly conscious of my appearance, I tuck a particularly stubborn
curl back behind my ear and awkwardly adjust my lab coat. "Oh, yeah--
actually, they're my favourites... how did you know?"

This is a man who has been responsible for great loss of life, in what
he likes to call his previous existence. How great, I don't like to
imagine. Because, frankly, that would take all the fun out of the fact
that he's giving me a present for absolutely no reason whatsoever.

He affects a self-deprecating shrug. "Well, I didn't, to be perfectly
honest... I don't really know what's good and what's not, so I asked
Schank what Myra likes--"

"And he knew?" Well, I wasn't willing to believe in the existence of
vampires at first either. I suppose this isn't that much more
improbable.

"No, he had to call Myra and check. Then, of course, he had to go with
me and get her a box."   A momentary respite, and then the proverbial
other shoe drops: "And some flowers, to apologize for waking her up at
four in the morning."

"Aha."

Nick nods, canting his head boyishly. I simply cannot picture him as a
murderer. No; Nick is a human being with a grave (no pun intended),
and as yet incurable, illness. I refuse to pathologize his soul
because of the crimes of his body. His hunger. He's tried so hard,
these past months... and so have I. And I believe him when he tells me
he's not the person he was a hundred years ago. Hell, why shouldn't I?
After all, I'm not the person I was before I met him.

"Well, they're great, Nick. But why--?" It's too late for Valentine's
Day (probably a good thing; at least now I'm sober enough to remember
getting them...) And Nick's not one of those people who celebrates
cheesy anniversaries no one else remembers. Well, that makes sense, I 
mean, he's already had about seven hundred or so birthdays, and, come
to think of it, he's been known to forget *my* birthday, also known as
the day we met. "You didn't have to," I conclude tentatively.

"I know. I wanted to." A smile. "Sweets for the sweet." 

Coming from any other man on earth, a line like that would be right up
there with 'what's your sign?'. But from Nick, it becomes a simple
statement of obvious fact. He takes a single step closer, nestles the
box into the curve of my arm; I find myself cradling it like I would
an infant. He oh-so-gently brushes back that pesky curl for me.

Yes, he's definitely one of the nicest birthday presents I ever got...
hopefully one of these days I'll get to unwrap him. The thought makes
me laugh out loud, and also reminds me why he's here. He eyes me
inquisitively, but I simply put the chocolates aside, affect a brisk, 
business-like demeanor, and command him to strip.

He grins wickedly. "Aren't you going to buy me dinner first?" I ignore
him, which turns out to be difficult as he persists, "Or is this your
way of thanking me?"

I cut my eyes at him, in what I hope is a seductive manner. "That's
for me to know, Detective Knight," I retort huskily.

Nick's face registers mingled amusement and approval. For a moment I
feel fabulously like half of a very normal couple. He removes his
topcoat and drapes it over the back of a chair nearby.

"Did you write like I told you to?"

A non-committal grunt. I assume this means no.

"Nick--"

"I lapsed three times. Once on Sunday night, and twice on Monday." He
grimaces. "Tuesday was hell."

I sigh. Loudly. "Nick, I didn't ask you to keep a journal just to
document your... lapses." I pause to recover from my stumble over that
particular word. To me, a lapse is forgetting to turn off the
television before you leave the house. To him, a lapse is undoing
everything we've worked for by opening a bottle. "I wanted you to
write every time you had a craving. This isn't just for my benefit--
not only does it help me see which of the appetite suppressants I give
you are working, it's supposed to be therapeutic for you to write
about how you feel."

He unbuckles his belt, removes it, and tosses it onto the chair. "I
tried, Nat." He pats his pockets and produces a page of crumpled
notebook paper. "This was as far as I got."

The page is torn on one corner, having apparently been violently
wrenched from its home by the author, in mid-sentence. Two words are
scrawled repeatedly across it with increasing urgency: *I'm hungry.
I'm HUNGRY. I'M HUNGRY!!!* Well, he's no Lord Byron, but I have to
give him partial marks for effort. There is a rust-coloured thumbprint
at the top of the page. I don't like the image this conjures up, so I
hand the paper back.

"Add a funky beat, I think it'll do well in the techno scene," I
remark, deliberately keeping my tone light. It hurts when I put so
much of myself into this, and he can look me in the eye without so
much as a flicker of remorse and say he *lapsed*. It hurts that he can
be so cold. I tell myself it's just that he's done this so many times
before only to have it fail, he doesn't want to get his hopes up,
doesn't want to get *my* hopes up... I remember his jubilation when we
discovered what we thought was a cure, the way he swept me up into his
arms and we stood there in the sunlight, sharing the laughter of true
kindred spirits. But every now and again, some stray thought stirs up
all my latent insecurities, and I wonder if he even cares about me at
all.

One look in his eyes convinces me that he does.

"I tried," he repeats, in a velvet whisper I almost don't catch.

"I know."

I breathe deeply, inhaling the brisk, spicy aroma of his aftershave,
and the deeper, more essential scent underneath that is just him. That
persistent, intoxicating smell, a combination of burnt cinnamon,
copper, and honey, always manages to make my heart race. From a
professional standpoint, I'm fairly certain there's a physiological
basis for it; probably some pheromone unique to vampires, something
that speeds the beating of the mortal heart and thus increases blood
flow.

On an emotional level, however, I want to associate the scent, the
sensation I gain from it, with Nick. Not his condition... just him.

I recall, dimly, the ride home from Azure, coming out of a wine-
induced haze with my head on Nick's shoulder, his arm around me... and
his scent, gently stirring me to something resembling a normal level
of consciousness, my heart pounding rapidly. If he'd turned to look at
me in that moment, I just know I would have kissed him like he'd never
been kissed in all his centuries on this earth.

He didn't look at me then.

However, he is looking at me now.

He places both hands on my shoulders, and I can feel him gazing into
me... through me...

Which is when Grace comes in.

Nick lets his hands fall to his sides and takes a brisk step back. The
fog surrounding me lifts--for the most part--but Grace's dumbfounded
expression and her querulous, "Nick?" don't quite click in for me
immediately, until she adds, "I thought it was your night off."

"It is." Nick aims his most charming smile at Grace, who, for whatever
reason, is steadfastly immune to both detectives and blonds. He
gestures to the chair. "I forgot my coat here the other night. I just
thought I'd swing by and pick it up."

I can tell she thinks this is a total crock, but her only reply is a
very small, "Ohh."

"Did you need something, Grace?" I ask, pointedly shifting the focus
of the conversation away from Nick.

Her eyes never leave his face as she responds, "No, I was going out to
grab something to eat, did you want anything?"

My stomach kicks into overdrive at the thought of a curried tuna salad
sandwich from the deli down the street, but I know Nick's physical
won't leave me enough time to eat it before I have to get back to
work. "Thanks, no."

"How come the door was locked?" The inquiry is directed at me, but
she's still looking in Nick's direction.

He fields the question easily. "Oh, sorry, I must have done that."

Another "Ohh," even smaller than the first.

"You have a nice lunch, Grace." There's a soothing cadence to his
voice that makes me wonder.

She nods, and leaves, locking the door again on her way out.

"Nick, did you--?" I make a hokey Svengali-esque motion with my hands.
He shakes his head.

"Didn't need to. Maybe she's hoping to collect on the office pool," he
suggests rather cryptically, unbuttoning his fly.

"What office pool?" 



I watch him intently, trying to divine the answer in his eyes. No
luck. His sudden, rich chuckle surprises us both. It was, no doubt,
inspired by the expression on my face.



"You haven't heard about that yet?"

"No, but I never bet on those things. I always lose."

"Well, this time, you'd definitely have the inside track." He slides
the jeans off and steps out of them, leaving a denim puddle on the
floor.

I don't like where this is going. "Why?"

He smiles self-indulgently. I poke him in the chest.

"*Why*, Nick?"

I stare up at him until he breaks. "Schanke was telling me about it.
Apparently there's a rumour going around that you and I are... you
know."

"That we're what?" I want to hear him say it.

"That you and I are involved." He pauses, and then continues, as
seamlessly as though he's been saying it his whole life: "That we're
lovers." The next sentence is muffled by a mouthful of cotton, since
he's got his t-shirt up over his head by this point. "And they're
betting on how, and where, we'll finally be caught in flagrante
delicto."

I do believe that was the sound of my jaw hitting the floor. "You're
kidding me." 

He spreads his hands before him in a gesture of innocence, which,
compounded with the fact that he's standing there in only his shorts,
hair mussed from the impromptu striptease, lends him an air of
vulnerability most women would find irresistable. Fortunately, there's
just me here right now. "Schanke only told me so he could try and
convince me that if I had to succumb to my animal urges, the backseat
of your car would be the best place for it. He says he'll split the
profits with me. Sixty/forty, naturally."

For a moment, I'm torn between amusement and outrage. Finally the
former wins out. "Don't I get a say in this?"

"Oh, I'm sure I can get him to cut you in for ten," he deadpans.

"Funny man... okay, have a seat."

He puts both hands behind him and levers himself up onto the stainless
steel examination table, perfectly at ease, while I get my instruments
together. Even though, as a general rule, it's all the same to him,
I've allowed him to retain his boxers. Black silk. I've taken enough
bullets out of various areas of him to know he has plenty of ordinary
cotton ones, which leads me to the inevitable conclusion that he
deliberately dresses up for these examinations. I smile at that, and
he catches me. "What?"

"Oh, don't mind me, I think I'm a bit punchy tonight. Look straight
ahead." I shine my penlight into his eyes, one by one. The pupils
respond obediently to all the normal stimuli, the irises remaining
harmlessly blue. "Up... down... okay, look at me. Could you--?" I
still haven't found a workable euphemism, but he understands what I'm
asking.

His face becomes an expressionless mask, and then his eyes begin to
glow dully gold, giving off a coppery sheen when I flash the penlight.
The line of his mouth also alters, almost imperceptibly, but I'm
familiar enough with that aspect of his physiognomy to know what I'll
find when I check that out, so I take my time. Also, I'll admit it-it
creeps me out a little to see those deadly canines up close. Kind of
like sticking one's head into the lion's mouth and trusting him not to
bite your head off.

A sharp intake of breath from my patient reminds me that this isn't
easy for him, either. His upper lip is dotted with red beads of
perspiration.

"Okay, no change there. Say 'ah'."

Nick sticks his tongue out mischieviously before complying, and for a
moment, the blue resurfaces from beneath the gold. Then he opens his
mouth, and there, protruding grotesquely from an otherwise ordinary
set of teeth, are the canines.

"Ah."

"No change there," I repeat. The sharpened points suddenly retract. He
closes his mouth and regards me with a hangdog expression, eyes clear.
I swab the blood-sweat from his lip with a section of gauze, then bag
it for later analysis. "Ever thought of having them removed?"

The set of his jaw changes, hardens. "I've tried it."

"What happened?"

"They grew back."

*Well, obviously*, I almost retort, but don't. 

"Every time," he adds, a bit more meditatively. He seems in awe of his
own healing abilities, even after all these years.

"How are you doing on the garlic pills?"

"I had to stop taking them for a couple of days... come on, don't give
me that look. I spent all day Friday in communion with the commode. By
Monday I was itching all over. And you can smell it on me, too." Nick
makes a disgusted face and offers his arm.



I lean in close, inhaling deeply. Copper... honey... cinnamon... no
garlic. "I don't smell anything." My heart is hammering away like
crazy, but ostensibly neither of us take any notice of it.



"Oh, trust me, it's there. Not as strong as it was, but still. No
self-respecting member of the community will come within a mile of me
until this is out of my system. Schanke keeps having mysterious
cravings for garlic toast every time we drive together."



I snicker at that. I can't help it.



"I did okay with the liver though--I managed to keep it down when I
ate it raw."

"I figured you would. Sit up straight." I move behind him and tear the
wrapper off a sterilized needle. "I want to try you on a new protein
drink--"

"Naaaaaat..."

"Niiiiiick..."

He treats me to a wide range of disgusted faces, but doesn't press the
issue further.

I stick him in the back of the neck with the needle; he doesn't even
flinch. "Feel anything unusual?" I question.

"No."

In addition to advanced healing, part of Nick's condition seems to be
a deadening of the pain centers of the brain. He feels it, sure, but
not right away, and not nearly as much as an ordinary person would.
However, I've learned through experience that if he can see the needle
going in, he tends to experience a twinge of entirely psychological
pain. This one vestige of humanity is definitely reassuring, but
doesn't exactly help my results. I jab him again with the needle,
lower
this time, and a little harder. "Now?"

"Uh-uh."

I remove the needle, and make a motion as if I'm inserting it into his
left shoulder, but the tip never touches his skin. "How about now?"


"Um... still nothing."

"Okay..." I press the needle into the blade of his shoulder until I
hit bone. "Anything?"

"Nope--wait, my shoulder itches. The left one. Feels like a bug bite."

I remove the needle. "That's a good sign." There isn't a drop of blood
from the point of entry. *Not* a good sign. But, as always, I take it
in stride; I run the tip of my finger over the places I've been
prodding him, checking to see if they've healed yet.

"I can definitely feel *that*," he remarks.

I've never been a very demonstrative person, and have always shied
away from overt displays of affection. At least, until I met Nick.
Those little touches of his--a hand at the small of my back or an arm
around my shoulders, a touch to the cheek or even a kiss... I've come
to 
expect them as a matter of course now. All right, it's more than that.
I've come to enjoy them. And even now, I'm letting my free hand remain
perched at the juncture of his shoulder and neck for a moment longer
than the doctor-patient relationship allows for. It's hard not to
notice how smooth his bare skin is. Or how cold. He reaches up, covers
my fingers with his own.

"Warm hands, the first sign of a good physician," he remarks. 

Wonder if a warm face is the sign of a good pathologist? He takes my
hand, turns it over, and applies a leisurely kiss to the palm. As much
as I want to protest, to draw back, I could really get used to this.
That delicious semblance of normalcy is back with a vengeance now.
Whether
unconsciously or by design, he's managed to drape my arm over him,
drawing me closer. I perch my chin on his shoulder for a moment,
giving him the reciprocal contact he seems to crave from me, before
reclaiming my hand and getting things back on track.

"Okay, Nick, almost finished; all that's really left now are the usual
suspects." I walk back around the table, tossing the needle in the
trash, and motion for him to scoot over. "I'm just going to sit beside
you for a second, if you don't mind."

"Knee bothering you again?"

"No more than usual." Translation: hell, yes.

Nick places one hand on my knee with a look of sympathetic
wistfulness--as much as he dislikes seeing me in pain, he's envious of
my human ability to experience it. Even through the fabric of my
slacks, his hand is like ice, which soothes the burning to a dull,
manageable ache.

"When are you going to get a haircut?" I inquire, reaching up and
ruffling the halo of tumbled golden curls.

"Is that Dr. Lambert in her professional capacity asking? Or my
Natalie trying to drop a hint?" The corners of his lips turn upward in
a teasing smile.

"I need a new hair sample," I tell him, trying to ignore the faint
buzzing beneath my skin that began with his pronouncement of the words
*my Natalie*. "The last one..." Hmm, how shall I put this delicately--
decomposed? "...ran out. And I'm assuming you don't want to go walking
around the precinct with a big bald patch back there. If you're in the
mood for a manicure, I could use some more nail trimmings too." His
look softens me in spite of my resolve to get this done, and I add,
"Trust me, if I wanted you to change anything, you'd know about it."

"Of course, I forgot--you're about as subtle as a crate of booster
seats."

"A crate of...? Okay, you lost me."

"Oh, right, I didn't tell you about that, did I?" He continues to talk
as I go through the usual motions--testing his reflexes, his blood
pressure, his heartbeat (such as it is) and so forth. "It was on
Wednesday. I called you after my shift, but the machine picked up."

"Yeah, I was knee-deep in here Wednesday morning. Tour bus accident. I
didn't make it home until almost noon."

He nods soberly. "Schank and I got this call about the Werner case...
the suspect said he'd turn himself in if we met him at this warehouse,
it actually wasn't too far from my place. It turned out he wasn't
interested in going with us, and in point of fact just wanted to take
as many cops out as he could before eating the last bullet. We got
him, but before I could get up to where he was he tried to drop a
crate on Schanke. I had to push him out of the way. It was a close
call, too-I almost didn't reach him in time. When the crate smashed,
all these booster seats spilled out... Anyhow, that's his new saying--
any time I do anything, it's suddenly comparable to a crate of booster
seats. I just felt like spreading the joy."

I smile. "Schanke's a character."

"You're telling me." Nick rolls his eyes and assumes an expression of
pious suffering as I remove the blood pressure cuff from his arm.

"Well, we're all done here, soooooo, I'll thank you to hop down and
get dressed before Grace comes back in here and has a lot more to say
than 'Oh'."

"Right." He slides off the table, turns away from me, and bends over
to pick up his clothes, a move I can't be sure isn't deliberate. "So
what's the prognosis, Doctor?"

"Looks great--I mean, you're in excellent condition," I correct
hurriedly, "apart from the usual, um... side effects of, uh... acute
hematophagia, and, uh...."

Then, of course, he whirls around just a touch faster than normal
human speed, and I'm caught in the middle of a purely aesthetic
appreciation of my patient's anatomy. He grins, pulling on his jeans.

All right, so I was checking him out. And he knows I was checking him
out. And I know that he knows that--you get the idea. I give up and go
on the offensive. "Nice view, by the way."

He blinks, impossibly ingenuous. Yeah, right, Nick--and I also believe
you're thirty-four years old and were born in Vancouver. Once he sees
I'm not buying it, he takes the compliment in the spirit in which it
was given. "Thanks. Glad to oblige."

"I'll get your protein shake--don't run out on me, now." The man has
no fear of bullets, but if you try to nourrish him, he leaves skid
marks.

"I won't." He's busily engaged in tucking his t-shirt into his jeans.

I go into the fridge, emerging with the thermos I prepared before
coming to work--and he's still there. Will wonders never cease? "Here
we go. Orange flavour."

"Lucky me."

"Yes. And now, if you don't mind, I'm sure there are guests in the
foyer, anxiously awaiting an audience with the princess of the
formaldehyde kingdom..."

Nick's sweeping gaze encompasses the empty tables before focusing on
me once more. "Slow tonight?"

"Yes, which makes a welcome change."

Now a calculated glance towards the door. "And Grace just got back..."

"I'll have to take your word for that. And they say hearing gets worse
with age."

He effects the ever-so-charming smile which usually means he wants
something from me. "I was hoping I could take you to lunch."

"Oh, well, the thing is... I already had my lunch break. Just now. And
I'm not that hungry." My stomach rumbles in adamant protest. Traitor.

Nick shoots me a dubious look, then leans in and applies a kiss to my
temple. "I'll talk to Grace."

He's got one hand on the doorknob by the time I interject. "Nick--"

"Yeah?"

"Talk to her, don't... *talk* to her. Okay?"

His smile widens into a grin, and he nods. "Okay." He disappears into
the hall.

Was that a glimmer of gold in his eyes, just before he--? "I mean it!"
I call after him.

"Okay!" he calls back.

In a moment of unparalleled optimism, I grab my coat and struggle into
it. I can hear a low murmur of voices just outside the door, Nick's
mostly, and then he returns, a cheerful spring in his step. "Piece of
cake," he announces. I brush past him and pop my head out the door.

"Grace...?"

She smiles and waves away any objections before I can form them. "Go
on, girl, let the man buy you a sandwich. You look like you could use
it." She sure doesn't seem hypnotized... well, all right then. I turn
back to Nick, who is looking inordinately pleased with himself.

"I am going with you on one condition--you have to eat something."

Well, that took the wind out of his sails all right. He recovers
quickly, however, replying, "I'll eat something, if we take your car."

This is something new; normally an outing with Nick isn't complete
without a tour of the block in the convertible, top down of course.
"We don't need a car, the deli's just around the--" I stop, mid-step,
and glare at him as I make the connection. "If I spot Schanke out
there with a camera, you're a dead man." Forestalling the inevitable
retort, I add, "You won't even know what happened... I'm gonna hit you
like a crate of booster seats."

His laughter still echoes resoundingly through the empty morgue as I
close the door behind us.

FIN

Eve
umdutto3@cc.umanitoba.ca