IN FLAGRANTE DELICTO Disclaimers - Well, I was in a silly mood tonight, as you will soon see :) This little scenario just sorta... developed as I wrote, and it hasn't been beta read, so be warned. These characters aren't mine, etc. etc. You know the drill. Permission is granted to archive at the ftp site, and fkfanfic.com. Comments, questions, and whatnot may be sent to Diane Harris at aria5@vt.edu IN FLAGRANTE DELICTO Nat stared at the corpse on the table with an ever increasing amount of boredom. Same old, same old. Idiot does something stupid and gets killed. Good ol' coroner has to cut em up and find out whodunit and all that... She shook her head harshly, surprised at her poor state of mind. What on Earth had gotten her into this mood? Goodness, she was feeling negative... Absently, she reached over and turned the dial on the radio. "Mr. Nightcrawler? I was wondering if you could give me some advice, I listen to your show _ALL_ the time..." A female voice swooned over the radio, and Nat rolled her eyes in disgust. How had her radio been turned to _this_ station? Her hand whipped across the desk and was almost going to turn the dial when she decided to give it a few minutes. Maybe hearing this pessimistic stuff would knock her out of her own rotten mood. After all, things always seem brighter when you look at pitch-black... "Charmed..." LaCroix answered suavely, the sarcasm dripping from his oozing voice. Nat smirked as she settled her head on her hands to listen. She couldn't believe people actually called in... "Well see, it's about this guy. He doesn't notice me at all! Nightcrawler, I really need help. You must have people drooling over you all the time, how can I do it like you?" LaCroix chuckled forebodingly. "Maybe he doesn't notice you," he paused for dramatic effect and continued, "because you don't deserve to be noticed..." "But, Nightcrawler..." The caller was cut off abruptly as LaCroix disconnected her, and Nat couldn't help but laugh. This was actually kind of amusing. Just how many callers did LaCroix dismiss like that?" "It's been a pleasure, my children, but time is running short. Time is _always_ running out. Your clocks are ticking down towards death, and mine towards eternity. On that note, I shall take my leave of... hrwph!" LaCroix stopped his discourse suddenly and let out a small chuckle. Natalie subconsciously leaned in towards the radio. What was that? Why had he stopped in mid-speech? She heard mumbling in the background, a crash, a few muttered obscenities and then a harsh electronic screech as someone grabbed the mike and began to speak. "Pardon me for that interrupTIONACK! hehehehe!" LaCroix started chuckling very loudly and Nat stared at the radio in amazement. What on earth? "OOOOOOH, Nicholas! Stop it! You know I'm ticklish therrrrrrrrACK! Hohoho! HAHAHAHAHAHA!" Natalie clapped her hands to her face in amazement. Nicholas? As in Nick? She shook her head... Naaaaaah. He wouldn't do something like that. Not only because he just didn't do stuff like that, but because LaCroix would kill him for it, at least based on what she'd heard about Nick's dictatorial master. "Ha! Consider this payback for the pink marshmallow incident!" Nick's voice rang clear through the radio's speakers as LaCroix continued to laugh uncontrollably. Nat was floored. Absolutely floored. Not only that it was Nick, but... pink marshmallow incident??? "That was HEHEHEOOOOH HAHAHAHAHAHA, that was Janette! I swear! I only did the AEIIIIIIII!! The supERGLue and PAINT!" There was a thump as more giggling raided the airwaves. It sounded like LaCroix had fallen to the floor... Natalie strained to hear what was going on, and she could vaguely make out what was being said. "Paint? Superglue?! What superglue??!!!" "Ooops... HEHEHEHEHEHA! I thought ohoh STOP! That's driving me nuts! that you'd seen it already!" "WHAT SUPERGLUE???? WHAT PAINT???" Natalie broke out laughing at Nick's perplexed/angered/annoyed/pleading tone, wincing when she heard LaCroix grunt like he was being shook. "Your pretty green CAR isn't GREEN anyHEHEHEHEHEHmore!" "AEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!! I'll GET YOU!!!!!" Nicholas cried as if he'd actually been hurt. Natalie smiled. He had always been protective of his car... There was a crash, and then fleeing footsteps. Silence. Nat turned the volume all the way up, but it was no use. Whatever had been going on was finished. She giggled when she thought of those two chasing each other all over Toronto. How often did they do stuff like this? She'd gotten the impression that Nick absolutely hated LaCroix, and here she'd heard him not only engaging in a tickle fight with him, but it had been revealed that they had done a lot of pranks on each other... She chuckled. The chuckles quickly turned into a snort and a laugh, and pretty soon, she was on the floor rolling in laughter. LaCroix had painted Nick's Caddy. And she didn't even want to know what the thing about the pink marshmallows was... Man o' man... Talk about a good bad mood buster. She laughed until she lay panting on the floor, exhausted with tears flowing swiftly down her cheeks. "Nat?!" Nick exclaimed as he walked into the morgue. She looked up from the floor to see his concerned blue eyes peering down at her. Damn, how long had she been on the floor? "Yes, Nick?" she asked innocently as she got up off the cold tiles. "What _were_ you doing?" "Stretching. Autopsies make my muscles tense," she said seriously, not wishing to tell Nick that she'd seen through his little "I hate my life, I can't escape from LaCroix, just let me become mortal and die" facade. "Ahem," she cleared her throat experimentally, "but why are you here?" she asked innocently. Well, she actually _didn't_ know why he was here... "It's 5:30, you asked me to pick you up... We have a date remember?" he questioned her with a look of concern marring his beautiful face. Nat sighed in relief. Yes, they did. She and Nick were supposed to watch movies at the loft. "Oh yeah! Let me get my purse..." She paused as she thought about the body still lying on the table. Oh well. The lab techs would pick it up. Nick looked at her strangely through the whole ordeal, and she secretly loved all the attention she was getting. She obediently let him lead her out through the winding hallways of the Coroners' Building and out into the lightening outdoors. Luckily, Nick still had a good thirty minutes before he really needed to be inside... She looked down the walk towards his usual illegal parking space and did a double take. It was flamingo pink. PINK! And a banner in ghastly puke green paint was glued onto the side that said: 'I'm a monster in the morning without my cup o' cow'. Nick saw where her glance was directed. "Sorry, I didn't have time to clean it up. Some vandals did it, I don't know how..." he hedged, looking back and forth from her to the Caddy nervously. Nat desperately tried to keep the serious look on concern on her face, but all was lost when Nick went ahead of her to open the door for her. Taped on his back, was a sheet of notebook paper that simply stated 'Kick me, I'm a crusader, I can take it!' She doubled over laughing as she felt Nick's cold hands enclosing her in an embrace. "Nat? What the Hell is wrong with you?!" But she couldn't answer. She was laughing too hard. THE END Diane Harris (aria5@vt.edu)