So here it comes, another 'songfic'. Yes, groan if you want, no one's
forcing you to read it.
It is based on the song 'First Day of my Life' by Finnish band The Rasmus
from their album 'In the Shadows'. I took some liberties with the lyrics
though, meaning I left some things out that didn't quite fit the story.

Neither Nick nor Lacroix are mine, instead they belong to Sony/Tristar who
like to leave them on their dusty shelves instead of giving them the
exercise they need.
This story is nothing for Natpackers, in fact you'll only find  her mortal
remains here. And it can be considered a sequel of my other songfic "You
can still be free" which can be found on my site
http://www.come-undone.net
Comments and cute blond vampires can be mailed to lucilla@come-undone.net,
flames will be used to heat the water in the bathtub.

Permission to archive is given to the FTP site and the other fiction sites
(FK 1 and 2)

First Day of my Life
by Luc

Tokyo 1996
---------------

"Leave me alone!"

Nick smashed the door shut violently. He almost hit Lacroix in doing so but
he didn't care. He just wanted to be alone. To see and hear nothing from
outside. And least of all he wanted to spend an evening with Lacroix and
his old friends. Other vampires from the Tokyo community, all as old or
even older than his master. And all just as adamant in their perception of
how a 'real' vampire should live. Neither of them felt any reluctance to
let him know just what they thought of his quest for mortality.
He knew that if he had to spend another evening in their presence he would
either stake them or himself.

+ I feel like I'm stoned
+ I wanna be alone
+ just for a while unknown
+ weeks on the road
+ a long way from home

He flung himself down on the futon in his sparsely furnished room. They had
arrived at Tokyo only a week before after traveling around half the world.
He had barely had time to think so fast were they changing places and
cities and continents. But everywhere they went, his thoughts always
remained in Toronto.
Even now as he closed his eyes he could see the dark loft, the lifeless
form on the floor in front of the fireplace. He could smell the fire as it
had consumed her.
His temples started throbbing and he rubbed his fingers against them in a
vain attempt to dispel the unwelcome images. He got up and his gaze fell
on the small silver urn he had placed on the antique chest of drawers. It
contained Natalie's ashes. He ran his fingers tenderly over the polished
surface.

+ and you say, "I'll heal you"
+ I'll always be yours
+ and you say "I'll kill you"
+ if I do something wrong

"You shouldn't keep them, Nicholas. Do the only thing that can be done with
ashes. Throw them to the wind and get on with your life."
Nick flung himself around, furious at the intrusion.
"Get out, Lacroix!" His voice was reduced to a low growl. Not much and the
vampire would emerge. Something Lacroix wouldn't find disturbing in the
least. But something his master couldn't stand was opposition. Lacroix
grabbed him by the lapel of his jacket and pulled him close.
"Nicholas, I will not tolerate this puerile behavior. You 'will' show
respect to my, to 'our', guests. Or else…"
"Or else? What will you do? Ground me? Send me to bed without dinner?" Nick
answered in a sniding tone.
Instead of an answer, Lacroix backhanded him, so that the younger vampire
was flung to the ground.

"I think I have been extremely patient with you the last couple of months,
Nicholas. I have put up with your brooding, your constant self accusations
and I have even allowed you to keep searching for that …. 'cure' of yours.
I am aware that losing the good doctor was a heavy blow and I am also
aware that grieving takes time. Don't think that I do not know what it is
to grieve over the loss of a loved one.         I don't believe I have to
remind you."

Nick was perfectly aware that Lacroix was thinking of Fleur and maybe even
of Divia, his daughter.
Lacroix bent down to him.

"But I will no longer tolerate you insubordination. You are my son. And you
will act accordingly. Or
I might just finish what we have started." He indicated the ornate sword
that hung on the wall above the chest of drawers.
Nick thought back when he had almost convinced Lacroix to stake him after
he had killed Natalie.
If he questioned his own feelings very thoroughly, he had to admit that he
really didn't want to die. And that he was in fact grateful for Lacroix's
constant attempts to alleviate his pain and the guilt of having yet
another death on his conscience.
Maybe he owed him a little respect. After all, Lacroix had not forced him
to come along.
He got up slowly, still feeling his cheek smart with the blow.

"I'm sorry."

Lacroix nodded his head in acceptance of the apology.
"We will have a special visitor tonight, Nicholas. I expect you to be on
your best behavior."

Nicholas bowed his head in yet another defeat. No, not defeat. He knew he
was wrong this time. Lacroix 'had' been patient. In fact he had seemed to
understand what he was going through. Completely different from the
Lacroix he had grown to hate over the centuries. More like the Lacroix of
the very beginning.

+ still feels like the first time
+ to stand here by your side
+ together regardless
+ we'll walk through the darkness
+ still feels like the first day of my life

>>>

Paris 1229
--------------

"Oh, that was glorious, Lacroix!"

Nicholas threw his head back in laughter. His fangs glistened in the pale
moonlight. Lacroix stepped up behind him and ran his hands through
Nicholas' long, disheveled hair and smoothed the sides down before cupping
his son's face in both of his hands.

"Yes, what a feast. And thanks to you, Nicholas. I really commend your
choice. The Comtesse and her maid were quite delicious." He ran his
fingers over his lips where a trace of blood still lingered. He brought
the finger close to Nick's mouth and swayed it in front of his child's
face. Nicholas' eyes glowed and he caught the finger with his teeth.
Pricking it a little with his fangs, he licked the mixed essence off  his
master's finger.

Lacroix relished the feelings his son was projecting to him. The uneasiness
with killing, the reluctance to accept his new superior nature seemed to
have worn off. Now he was the son Lacroix had always wanted. A perfect
predator, seductive and dangerous, and yet still so full of life.
The boy surprised him every night anew with his inventiveness.

Nicholas chuckled deep in his throat, enjoying the caresses of his master,
who had started to knead his neck muscles. Oh, what a perfect life…

+ remember the times
+ together we swore
+ "Never give up this life"

<<<

Nick buttoned his shirt while studying his face in the mirror. He looked
pale. Ever since Natalie's death and their hasty departure from Toronto he
had been feeding on human blood again. Not by force but by mere necessity.
Cow's blood just didn't calm his beast enough anymore. If he wanted to be
safe around mortals (something he still wasn't especially keen on) he had
to drink human. No one needed to hunt to get it.
The black silk of his shirt accentuated his pallor and his hair, now very
long and smooth added to the effect. If he didn't know that it was not
possible, because vampires didn't change unless they starved, he could
have sworn that he had also lost weight.
Actually he liked what he saw. And for the first time in a long time he
smiled at his reflection.
He closed his eyes, and for a tiny moment it felt as if he felt Nat's hand
on his shoulders, hearing her voice in his ear as she whispered, "Go on,
Nick, live. Live for me."

+ still hanging on
+ still going strong
+ and maybe I'm crazy
+ but at least I'm still around

Yes, he would live.
As he put on the silver cufflinks she had given to him on his 800th
birthday, he even caught himself humming.
Maybe it was going to be an enjoyable evening after all.

-Fin-
October 21, 2003