Title:Break Down

Written by:Areanna Whitewolf

Disclaimer: These characters and songs do not belong to me.(Smiles
wickedly 'too bad to, Nick is Hot) They belong to Sony/Tristar and or
the respectable people who have written or sung them.( And Nick can
belong to the rest of you after I am done with him). I just had to
have Nick, Nat, Lacroix and Janette over for blood and donuts
and....other stuff....I'll give them back when they are finished
enjoying life's simple pleasures.(Snickers)

Characters Starring: Detective Nicholas De Brabant Knight of Wales,
Doctor and Pathologist Natalie Lambert of Toronto, Canada, General
Lucius Lacroix of Pompeii, Rome, And Madam Janette DuCharme of Paris,
France.

Summary: This story takes place a year after Last Knight. And the
only references I left out is Janette being human. ( Janette being a
what..come again.*Comical laugh*) and the Lacroix/Nick staking part
(If a stake went through Nick's Chest and the TV audience wasn't able
to see it , Then it never happened. And I can guarantee there are
allot of you out there who are willing to say the same darn thing.
Nick's alive till proven dead. ) In this story Nick is again in
trouble of starving to death. As you read you will notice he gains
back some sun and and the ability to go into a church. (Though it was
true of the vampires in the show I kept out the garlic thing too. It
just seemed kind of foolish to me.)  And Nat goes to extreme lengths
and the most unexpected people to save Nick from what has turned out
to be yet again his fatal guilt.

Number of Stories currently in the Series: Three. Breack Down,(
currently on line at www.geocities.com/kitanyafyre/breakdown.html)
Break Through ( In the process of rewritting. It's on line right now,
but needs desperate help. I need a beta reader.) And Break Free( Lost
what I had of it when my old laptop died. too bad too. I need help
with the second before I start the third anyway ) . I am hoping to go
more into the Series and keep it going. Anyone who has suggestions or
ideas of how to keep it standing and moving on it's own,Please write
me at the e-mail address below. And if anyone at all wants to help me
by becoming a beta reader or anything, please contact me. I do need
some help.

If you want to e-mail me with comments a little rule: Compliments
and Constructive Criticism accepted only. Any of you who think my
story sucks, a small reminder. Criticism is one thing, plain bad
mouthing my tale is another. Please be kind. It's my first stab of
fan fiction and I am sort of sensitive.

E-mail Address: Areanna_Whitewolf@yahoo.com.

Permission to Archive at Forever Knight Fan fiction yahoo groups,
fan fiction sites and to any other adult fan fiction sites who are
interested.

Note of thanks to several fan fiction writer. Karen Gunter, Night
Lady, Deborah Hymen, Karen G. Jarvinia, and many others. I was so
inspired by several other writer and that passion drove me to write
this. And to Doctor Allen Layne, who for the short time played a
large role in my ability to change my story and make it all that it
is today. Allen, this bloods for you.

Warning: Some sexual content(slight male-male, female-male, and
female female blood exchange)and adult language.(Same sex , nudity,
violence, strong language...I love to play around with everything
it's terrible*g*) Viewer decretion advised. Not suitable for people
under the age of 18. So if your under 18, please just hit the back
button. I don't want any trouble. And of course any of you out there
who do not like sexual content I will later make a pg. 13 version of
my tale.

Chapter 1

Do you feel how the vampire tries to demand
You deny it for the strength of man.
But the vampire does not like to hide
It claws dug in...deep inside.
You try to hold back, try to be strong.
for the killing of innocence is wrong
But only so long the beast will sleep
Only so long will it keep
You are a vampire, dispite your vows.
And I going to show you to give in now.
You'll fall to my touch, I promise you.
There is nothing you can do
You'll fall to me as I hold you tight
And then you'll break, my shivering Knight

Nick Knight sat in the cold emptiness of his loft, nursing an
unmarked green bottle of red liquid in his hands. His eyes were
hollow, his expression speaking of a distance a thousand miles away.
He took a sip from the bottle and made a face, spraying it from his
mouth in a flare. Too little too late, he thought. It did not bring
comfort anymore, the sour drink in his hand. He stared at the bottle
and studied it for a moment. Then in frustration, he raised the
bottle and ,with a growl, smashed it against the kitchen table. It
shattered into a million pieces, and he watched as the glass flew
everyday. He collapsed on the chair in hopelessness, and ran a finger
through the blood puddle on the table. He brought it to his nose and
made a face of disgust. Why did he even bother. The hunger screamed
in him, the beast seeking more then thin cow's blood. 'Control', he
thought, 'that's all I ever do. Great damned existence, just great'.

He heard the lift motor kick in, and listened, hearing a familiar
heartbeat. Natalie was coming. He shook his head. 'Oh great,' he
thought' Just what I need'. Natilie would kill him for even touching
blood, regardless of the fact that he had only tasted a mouthful. He
made no move to clean up the glass or the puddle of blood, now
dripping into his lap. He sat in the darkness, his fangs descended,
but his eyes blue. If she got mad, so what. If she wanted, Nat could
yell at him for a million things. She always found something to
badger him about. If not for his love, he would have sent her out of
his life forever. Or just simply moved on. He knew that Natalie was
the only real thing keeping him here in Toronto.

He looked down at the stain that formed on his pants. Cows blood did
little to satisfy his hunger anymore. He just couldn't stomach it. He
had gained the sunlight and church, but the thirst for human blood
still held him steady fast. He fought with the vampire always. He
didn't know how to keep the beast in himself from trying to claw it's
way to the surface. All he had gained, and he could not be human.
'Damn it all to hell', he thought. Maybe his sire was right, there
was no point to continue searching for mortality when it seemed
impossible.


Natalie opened the lift door, greeted with darkness. She hoped Nick
was home, she had seen his caddy down in the garage. But she knew
often these nights, he would go out for long flights, coming in late
in the morning sometimes. She reached for the wall switch, switching
it on, but nothing happened. She tried flicking it a few times, but
still there was no light.

" Hello Nick, are you home? Man it's dark as hell in here. What
happened to your lights? Nick, Nick ....Are you there?"

No one answered her. She walked around tentatively, trying to find
the couch. Her foot hit the corner of it of it hard. She cursed at
her foolishness. Following the line of the couch, she found her way
to the lamp on the corner table. She reached around, feeling the
remote and reached up on the lamp, trying the light switch that way.
Realizing the power must have been cut or something, she sat down on
the couch with sigh.

Seeing her shuffle around in the loft , Nick said not a word. Poor
mortal eye sight did not allow her to see him sitting but 5 feet from
her. Finally deciding to let her know he was home, he spoke out of
the darkness, his voice almost raspy.

"Nat, leave the light off. I don't like it right now. It hurts my
eyes."

She went into the kitchen, hearing glass crunch under her shoes. She
knew something was wrong with him tonight. Probably a bottle or a
vase he had broken in frustration of some event or conflict he was
having. Walking around in the dark , she went over and turned on the
stove light, which barely shed enough light to spread a few feet. She
squinted hard, trying to focus her eyes in the poor light. She barely
made out the shape of Nick at the kitchen table, sort of slumped over.

"So nice of you to finally let me know your home. What is it that
you find so amusing about watching me shuffle around in the dark.
Sitting there like some morbid stalker, waiting for me to fall on my
ass. How nice that I am so welcome in your dark foreboding abode.
Let's watch the respected mortal doctor fall on her ass. Ha ha Nick,
really funny. Yuck it up why don't you."

Finally fed up, she reached in her pocket book and pulled out a
small flash light. Pointing in the direction of the shadowy figure,
she saw Nick sitting at the table, watching what looked to be blood
on the table drip slowly into his lap. His jeans were already soaked
with a terrible red stain. 'What the hell is he doing' she thought to
herself. Her eyes raised in questioning anger.


"Nick, what the hell is wrong with you?! What are you doing, taking
a bath in the stuff? And what's with the dark? I have seen you stand
the sun for three hours. What suddenly a dim light hurts you now.
God, for a second I thought you weren't even home. "


"I am a creature of the darkness, Nat. It is my home. And as for the
blood, don't worry about about it. Hey, at least I didn't drink any
of it. This is a bad night, Nat, a very bad night. Please don't take
this wrong, but I really think you should go."


"No Nick, I'll stay if I want, damn it. Great, it's just one of
those nights again. What is it this time that you are blaming
yourself for. Did you fail to save another person or is it the people
you killed in your 800 years that are haunting you yet again? Or is
it Lacroix....or maybe just plain hatred of yourself. Poor Nick, all
evil and guilty and alone. It's always the same god damned story with
you isn't it. I hate when you do this. You and your damn depression.
Is that all you do with your existence, sit and wallow in self pity?"


He just gave her a sad, silent expression and laid his head upon his
hand. He didn't care anymore what she thought about him, because
after this night, he wouldn't be here for her anymore. 'Let her hate
me' he thought 'It will be easier on her that way when I am gone'.


Her eyes echoed anger. How pathetic he was, just sitting there, all
depressed for no reason. The way his eyes had met hers with that icy
half closed look of deep depression made her angrier. He had wanted
to be self destructive sometimes, but this was ridicules. Oh, but how
she was going to show him. She was tired of this. She walked toward
the lift door and turn her head to the side, speaking to him once more.


"You know Nick, I have had enough of your sad, guilty boy act. It's
pathetic, it really is. When are you going to learn to step outside
the box of your past and let it go?"


"Nat, My past is a reminder of how dangerous I can be. I mean, Look
at what I did to you a year ago. You could have died. The vampire in
me is too strong. I can't take that chance again. Not with you, not
ever. Please....."


"Enough already. I am so damned tired of hearing the same sorry ass
excuses from you. Boo fucking hoo, Nick. So your life isn't what you
want it to be. So you can't have everything the way you want it when
you want it how you want it. 800 years and you are still acting like
such a child. I thought for a second I might have been dealing with a
man. Now I find out I diapering an infant who throws fits because he
can't have his own way."

Nick eyed her, trying to figure out what to say next. He had been in
small argument with her before, but this was quite different. This
seemed to be sort of a last straw deal. 'Good' he thought ' Maybe
she'll get angry and leave and never come back again. Less pain for
her to suffer. Thinking of a quick response, he spat back at her.

"Nat, if you get so frustrated with diapering me, then why do you
keep coming back. It was your decision to help me. You don't have to
come back night after night . No one is pulling your arm."

"Oh shut up for once and stop trying to act all noble. If you even
cared what I thought, you wouldn't do this night after night. And
just so you know, for your information, I was coming over to help, to
be a little comforting. But as I see, you really don't care about
anything anymore except your damned guilt. What can I expect from a
hollow empty black creature like you , is that it? Well too bad Nick.
I won't let you do this. Not to me and not this time. That does it. I
am done with messing around and flying through hoops to get you to
except the life you have. You still haven't learned to see the bigger
picture. You just don't get it do you. You are a vampire Nick, a 800
year old immortal. In all those years haven't you even tried to learn
that failure is all too common. But that when you fail you get back
up and try again. But you, no you sit in bloody pants, wasting
yourself away to practically nothing, while I bust my ass everyday
trying to give you some sort of friggin humanity. "

" Nat, you sound like Lacroix now.'Be a vampire' isn't exactly your
motto, or at least it wasn't until now. What happened to not drinking
blood and being human? Why did you come tonight?What did you decide
to do, come over for a round of 'lets pick on Nick'?"

Nat walked over to him, so angry she could spit. Apon reaching him,
she slapped him as hard as she could across the face. He growled, but
didn't move. She looked at him, her blood boiling. Getting down close
to his ear, she spoke to him in a voice laced with a barely
controlled, cold anger.

" Go ahead and growl. See if I care. You would never dare bite me.
You're too chickenshit to do anything to me. You won't even friggin
hug me anymore. So damned afraid to take any chance. One mistake and
you're running scared. Some Immortal you are. More like a simpering
fool to me."

" A smart simpering fool then. A fool who cares for your life more
then his own. A fool who wanted to protect you from Lacroix. Now you
betray me by taking his side. No one cares about my quest anymore.
You were my last chance. Now you're gone."

She kissed him hard on the lips. He pulled back, turning his face
away from hers. If only she could have understood how much it might
cost them both for him to take her the way she wanted.

She pulled her head up and nodded. She smiled sarcastically at him.
Touching her lips, she looked off into the darkness of his loft.

" Just as I thought. Who is there for me at the end the night? Not
you. I don't even have a father or a sister to run too when I can't
love the one man I want. I have no safety or comfort when my pain
eats at me after leaving your place. "

He went to say something, but she stopped him with a finger to his
lips. Tears streaked down her face. She turned away from him before
he could see her weakness. Composing herself , she wiped her eyes and
turned to him with a stern face.

" And for your information, I know I sound like Lacroix. And I hate
you for making me have to go that far. For making me have to stoop
that low, using the words of the one man we hate so much. I just
can't do it, Nick. I can't give you mortality and love you and wait.
I just can't do it any longer. It's too hard on me, to watch you
waste away because of your damn atoning. Humans feel guilt Nick, but
you take it to the next level. The quest for mortality is now
finished. What did you expect me to do, go on busting my ass for a
life you don't even want anymore?! Well, sorry to break it to you,
but I have needs too, and you don't get something for nothing, pal.
Now, I don't know about you, but I am not going to just sit in the
dark with you. This, what we have, isn't a relationship, it's a joke.
You say you love me, well I am really starting to doubt it. I can't
take it anymore. If you don't want to fix your broken life, then I
will. Forget the cure, this is worst. For this I am going straight to
the top. And believe me when I say you won't like it. Good-bye, Nick.
Enjoy the darkness. While you still sit in it, that is."


"Nat, what are you talking about? Who are you going to see? Wait
Nat, please."


She looked at him once more, not bothering to answer. She turned off
the flash light, giving him one last angry look. She cursed and
walked into the lift, slamming the door down hard in rage.

Nick sat alone in the dark again, shaking his head. He knew exactly
where she was going to go tonight. It would probably get her killed
or worse. She was going to Him. He who was his sire. Nick knew that
and still he didn't move. In the time it would take her to get here
again, if she even made it back, he wouldn't be here to greet her. He
has been starving himself for nearly a month now, barely drink enough
to survive. Today when the sun rose, he would see it one last time.
He sat there almost smiling at the thought of sunrise. That one last
embrace of warmth, that final kiss of the lighted dawn and he would
be no more. What a way to go, he thought, oh what a truely blessed
way to die.

He turned on the radio, popping in a CD of songs he found rather
peaceful. He went about, opening all the window shades. He opened one
window wide, smelling the night air. Looking at the moon, a song
poured from the radio, it seemed to haunt him. He decided to put his
song on repeat. Very few things in his life bared repeating, but this
song meant something. And as he gazed at the sky, the solemn song,
like a death tribute, poured fourth from his lips.

"Please, please, forgive me. But I won't be home again. Maybe some
day you'll look up. And Barely consciencely you'll say to no one
'Isn't someone missing'....You won't cry for my absence I
know.....You forgot me long ago.....Am I that unimportant...Am I so
insignificant.. Isn't someone missing me."

Staring at the night sky once more, he shed a single tear. He
listened to the song singing it here and there, wanting to die right
then. In his heart, he said one last good bye to the one woman he
loved more then any other. Then with a sigh, peace came over him. And
there he stood, waiting for the dawn.

Chapter 2


Down in the underground garage, Nat started up her car. She sat
fumming trying to calm the rage boiling in her. Foolish man, stupid
foolish man', she thought to herself. Once she calmed down, she sat
in thought for a moment as if struggling with some sort of difficult
decision.Then with a single nod of her head, she took off towards the
Raven. Lacroix or Janette would fix this, hopefully without killing
her. Normally she would avoid them all together. But now she had
truely grown desperate. She had to do something drastic....or soon he
would drive both of them insane.

She arrived at the Raven a little while later, and sat frowning in
the car for a moment. This was it, if she found nothing here, she
would just have to give up. A tear escaped her eyes, and she wiped it
away angrily. Damn it, Lambert, pull yourself together. These were
not people who understood tears. She opened the car door, putting on
a face of calm confidence and made her way inside. She walked through
a dancing mass of vampires, finally making it to the bar.

All eyes in the room turned towards Natalie. Shock registered on
some faces. It was uncommon to see a human in here so early in the
morning, when all others had gone home to bed. But when they saw her
face, they turned their eyes away and went back to their dancing.
Alma smiled in Nat's direction, from her place in the dark corner of
the club. The doctor was the only mortal who was allowed to walk in
here so late, after the other human patrons went home, and get away
with it. The community knew who she belonged to, but that's not what
kept them away. Nicholas was considered a weakling by all standards.
It was Lacroix's connection to Nick that they feared. No one wanted
to mess with the General. And they knew how much he loved his son.
Alma shook her head in amusement. If only that mortal doctor knew
that her worst enemy was her only protection.

Natalie wasn't surprised to see Janette here tonight. She knew
Lacroix had to be somewhere around here. She had heard his broadcast
on the way over. She walked ove r to the bar and sat down, clearing
her throat.

Janette's eyes hinted a predatory amusement at Natalie's presence.
Why was Nicola' s little pet here, she wondered to herself.

" I come in peace, I swear. No more anger, no more petty games.
Though we never really got along, one thing concerns us mutually.
Nicholas is just not himself. He has reached a state of stillness and
emptiness neither he nor I can seem to break. He just sits there day
after day, night after night. He quit work after that whole thing
with Tracy Vetter, his second partner. Another death to blame himself
for. Then that whole thing with almost draining me that night. He
still doesn't trust himself to come anywhere near me. Well, I can't
take it anymore. I want him, I need him, and I know somewhere in his
heart of ice is love for me. For you and Lacroix too. I can't explain
it, but I do know it's there. Do whatever you need to do. Just fix
it, please. I am asking for your help."


Janette looked at her, and a frown crept over her face. It must be
very serious, Janette thought, for her to come here. It was dangerous
for her, the only mortal surrounded by vampires. Janette looked at her.

"Qui, I see that you are desperate, mon ami. Your face and eyes show
it all. But what would you like me to do. Nicola' has not listened to
my advice in a very long time. I could tell him to stop till I am a
million and he would still refuse."

" Then we make him do as we want, damn it. We force him to accept
it. I am not going to lose him Janette. Not to you, Lacroix, himself,
or anyone else. He'll either turn me or kill me. But I am not leaving
here till I have your help. It is said that in a war there is
strength in Numbers. Well this is a war with Nick. And I can not
fight an 800 year old warrior of guilt all by myself. I need your
help. And not just yours."

"Who then? The community hates..."

"How about his preacious father. Lacroix must know some way other
then beating the hell out of him. He is...was a general of pompei
after all. Nick is his son. I need you both. I am determined to do
this one way or the other. To hell with him being human. I tried, I
lost. So what. Nick matters more to me then anything else in my life.
Now you either stand up and do something, or you kill me. Either way
I am not giving up."

Lacroix heard her all the way from his sound booth, and his ears
peaked with interest. Wasn't this just delicous, he thought to
himself. The mortal wants his son to be a vampire and to turn her.
This was too good. He smiled to himself. Switching to a old recorded
show, he stood up.

He walked out of his sound booth and over to the bar, eyeing
Natalie. With a turn of his head he spoke.

"What can I do for you tonight doctor? You seem somewhat distressed.
Is something wrong?"

"Well Mister Lacroix I would say so. There is something most
definately wrong. But then you already know that don't you?"

"Ah yes...My son again. Well as Janette has said, there isn't much
to do really. Nicholas has a way of ignoring every effort I have
tried. I have even beaten him to but an inch of his death....with no
result. He is just so stubborn and set. I am not sure there is much
we can do."

"There must be something you can do. Make a plan of attack. Ambush
tactics and all. Do something other then beat him and haunt his head
and taunt him on the radio. Your were a great Roman general once. You
are 2000 years old, all those years must have taught you something
more then a hundred ways to beat your son. Do something useful with
your time damnit....I mean you have so much of it. It is time to
start putting it to some other use then tormenting him."

Lacroix smiled slightly, hearing her brash tone. But she did indeed
have a point. There had to be something he hadn't tried. And looking
at the doctor, he had at last found it. She was his son's salvation.
She was the key to unlocking his son's heart to him. He needed his
son to return and she was the means by which that could occur. And
this time, he felt it right to make sure, that if ...no , when,
Nicholas tried to turn her, it would not go wrong. There would no
half hearted attempts at training her

Natilie sat there waiting. At least Lacroix appeared to in a fairly
decent mood tonight.

He understood her concern, but inwardly he knew she must be really
worried. What else but the most desperate of situations would have
brought her here. Raising an eyebrow, he looked her up and down for a
moment, as if considering her words Then with a gesture of his index
finger, he motioned to her to come to the back room.

Nat saw the gesture and almost ran for the doors. The back room was
very secluded, too secluded. She would have no help if either one of
them felt like making her a snack. It was a place she knew was kept
for only the very special members of the Raven. But deciding that she
had to take the chance, she straightened her shoulders, keeping Nick
in her mind. She had to do this, for him and for herself. She walked
around the back of the bar, reaching the back room and stepped
inside. Janette closed the door behind her, and locked it. Her eyes
darted to the locked door, and inwardly she shook. But she was
determined, too determined, to give in to fear now. Although she was
worried about exactly what they might to do to her, she knew better
then to show it. Lacroix sat on one end of a couch against the back
wall. Janette joined him a few seconds there after, sitting on the
other end. He offered Nat a seat in the middle with another small
gesture, his eyebrow raising once more. She froze. It was dangerous,
coming back here. She raised her chin in defiance, desperate not to
show fear or uncertainly.


"I may be asking for help, but I'm not stupid. I would rather keep
my distance."


Janette's eyes softened. Understanding Nat's caution, she spoke.


"Miss Lambert...Natalie, please sit. We will keep the peace, as you
say. We do owe you a debt after all. First with the cure you gave our
kind for that nasty fever. And then with all the vampire murders you
cover up so nicely. The white flag is raised today. You are safe and
completely welcome. Especially since your concern mirrors our own. We
will not harm you. We won't "bite", we promise."


She smiled wearily at Janette's words and sat between them. She
turned quiet eyes from one to the other, and then leaned back,
resting her head on the back of the couch with a sigh. Lacroix saw
her bare her neck and smiled devilishly at Janette. Not only was she
trusting, she was so tempting. But as Janette shook her head, he
turned away. If she wanted to keep a white flag, for Nicholas' sake,
he would keep the peace too. He looked at Nat calmly again and spoke.


"Well, Doctor, you were right to come to us. This time, it is
different. Nicholas isn't just bored with life, or depressed, he is
starving to death, quite literally. Though our link has steadily
weakened over the course of 200 years, it is still a bond. I have
warned him many a time. But my son has always been so hard headed. He
is stubborn and very set in his ways. He wants what he wants and let
no one tell him otherwise. Surely now you can understand the
difficulty of trying to raise a son who wants nothing to do with you
or anyone else of the family. I gave him a gift. I gave him eternity.
I gave him power and a beauty that will never fade. And what does he
do. He spits at my feet. Turns away from me and pretends like I have
given him a horrible disease rather then a true gift. This is why I
am the way I am with him. I cannot understand why he wants to destroy
himself. ThatŐs not the Nicholas I knew when I changed him and that
is not the Nicholas he is suppose to be."

He sighed slowly and shook his head in frustration. Rubbing his
temples briefly, he felt the memories of Nicholas return. The
Nicholas of the past was never like this. He was vibrant, even when
they fought. He would embrace his sire and show love. The creature
that Nicholas was then and the creature he is now was not the same.
How could his lively childe become so cold, so empty, so hollow. He
let pain etch over his face. How he missed his most beloved childe.
'Please Nicholas, ' he thought "Come to me. Be alive again. Let us be
as we were. Come back to me my son.'

For a second, Nat saw a hurt look come over his face. She knew he
loved his son, that much was evident. Nat nodded when he finished and
looked to the ground, making a decision. Straightening herself, her
chin raised, she met his ice blue eyes for the first time and spoke.

"I can see now why that pissed you off. I mean atoning is one thing.
Living with unending guilt is another. All you have really asked him
to do is drink donated human blood. I am beginning to think your idea
is right. I am angry with him now. I don't care what I have to do.
I'll do anything to help him, even if that means giving up the search
for mortality. It's caused nothing but trouble anyway."

Janette's smile widened at Natalie. Oui, Natalie, you have no idea
how pointless that quest really is, she thought. Janette looked at
Lacroix with a raised brow. Lacroix looked back at her knowingly and
turned back to Natalie to speak

"You say are willing to help him. Well you are aware, of course, of
what that might entail on your part, Miss Lambert?"

She nodded and spoke.

"Call me Natalie, Lacroix."

"Natalie it is, then. I suppose it is best we tell you what we will
have to do to wake my son out of guilt and depression and keep him
there. He needs all of us. However for what we need to do, it
requires us to, shall we say, 'bare all'. Do you understand?."


Her cheeks colored a blush red and she looked at both of them again.
Naked, they all had to be naked? She looked at him and slowly she
understood fully. No not just naked, she would have to.....she
blinked and swallowed hard. Well, she wanted Nick, and it would have
happened sooner or later. But, although not exactly what you call a
chaste girl, getting butt naked in front not one but three Vampires
would be a little hard. Janette looked at her discomfort and smiled.
Ah mortals, she thought, how sweetly modest. Nat slowly nodded to
Lacroix and waited to see if he had any other surprises to speak of.


"You see, my son needs to have no way out. His desire and his weaker
sense of control will be his undoing. But there are things that you
will see that you have never seen before. The mortal idea of what is
proper and what is not, you will have to leave that behind you. This
is no time for disgust or modesty or pure thoughts. This is the only
way I know that will really wake my sleeping son, inside that hollow
shell."


She looked at him and a question began to rise in her head. She
understood what she and Janette would be doing with Nick. But Lacroix
being naked, that confused her a little. She had the idea somewhere
in her mind....Lacroix and Nick..... and she blushed slightly again.
She decided to voice the question, she had to know for sure. No point
in hiding now, she thought.

" Mr. Lacroix..."


" Lucien, please. Last names are a formality, and I doubt that this
calls for it"


" Lucien, I understand that we will be tempting Nick with sex. I
understand my place and Janette's. But you, why do you need to be
naked? There is nothing you can do with him, except give him blood.
And that hardly requires you to be naked."


Lacroix listened to her, letting a grin grace his rather icy
expression as he heard her question. Well, he thought, wasn't she
brave to ask such things.


"Well, that is an interesting question. This is what I was speaking
of. You are not totally clueless, but there are things that you turn
a blind eye to. Mortals are taught to think in disgust when one male
and another 'take care of each other'. But in the vampire world,
there are no limits. Male or female, its all the same. You see there
are quite a few things my son will never speak of with you. He is
more chaste in speech then any mortal I have ever known. In the past
we have gathered, Janette, Nicholas, and myself to Ménage a touse.
Uh,"make love" you mortals call it, but Nicholas has always been
ashamed of his desires for me. As he was catholic once, he believes
it is wrong, a sin. My sons guilt goes with him everywhere, including
into a lover's bed. He does, however, enjoy me being there, doing
what only I can do. In fact, once my son's desire is raised, there
will be very little we can do to hold him back, any of us. Remember
though, without your full support in the matter, we will never
persuade him. You must show him that you accept him fully. You can
not be the one to hold limits, for that is all he will need to get
away. You have to give all. You are the last thing that will undo my
son. You will probably require to be brought across, but you said you
were willing to take that chance."


She nodded and spoke.


"Well if we are going to get there before sunrise, we better hurry.
It's already 5:00 am, the sun will be up in an hour. Are we going to
take my car, or will you two be...."

She pointed up.

Lacroix raised a brow and spoke.


"We will go with you. I need to bring some of my special stock with
me, and flying with it will hardly be easy. Dropping such special
bottles is not exceptable. Our tastes are expensive, so any waste is
pointless."


She walked to the back door, smiling all the way. She didn't think
of what she would see or what she would do. She just knew that it was
the only way to do this, and she wouldn't see Nick suffer anymore.
She got in the car, turned the key and released the trunk. She heard
the rattle of bottles, a thud, then the trunk being closed. She
reached to open the other side. Janette got in first, sitting in the
back, and Lacriox in the front seat. She smiled at him half heartily
and turned on the radio. As they started to drive, a song came on.
Lacroix rubbed his temples, hearing the romantic melody start to
torment his brain. But when he began to listen to words, he
understood why Natalie smiled wistfully at it. He listened to the
words closely. Even Janette sat forward. On the radio was Leann
Rimes' "How do I breath"


A tear then two made their way down Nat's face. She began to sing to
the words of the song in a low voice. Janette's hand reached out to
grasped Lacroix's shoulder in it. She nodded towards Natalie, who was
too wrapped in the song to even notice she was the focus of some
secret conversation. Lacroix nodded back. It was true, she did indeed
love his son, and the look on her face as she sang the song proved
it. As the song played to it's end, Nat pulled to the side of road,
sputtering and tearing too much to drive. She covered her face in
shame. They shouldn't see this side of her, when she was so
vulnerable and weak. As she cried, a gentle hand reached out to rest
on her shoulder. She raised her face to see Janette looking at her in
understanding. Even Lacroix's expression had softened. Janette spoke
out.


"Natalie, I know it is difficult, mon cheri, to be in love with one
of our kind. Especially with Nichola', with a guilt the world over. I
loved him once a long time ago, long before he turned towards wanting
mortality. You don't understand what that search has cost all of us,
including yourself. He is dying because he can't except that blood is
needed, to live, to survive. As he destroys himself, he is dragging
us to suffer with him. "


Janette patted her arm gently, and Natalie spoke in a broken voice.


"I just wanted to help him. When I met eyes with him the first time,
he touched my soul with something special. My heart grew to love
him....I just wanted to give him something that he wanted so much. I
shouldn't have forced him to not drink blood, and be more human. I
did this. I heard about that thing between Lacroix and his sister,
Fleur I think, and I grew to hate Lucien Lacroix. It burnt me so much
to know that a damn debt is all that stood between Nick and I. Now I
see that I was nothing but a blind fool. I should have challenged
Nick. I should have put my foot down, instead of being all docile and
foolish. This is all my fault."


" No no, you didn't do anything wrong. Oui, you helped him to be in
control, because you loved him. You wanted him to have what he craved
most. You just did as he asked. No one could blame you for that. This
is Nichola's fault and even he knows that. That is what we are doing
tonight. We will make him see that he is being stupid and self
sacrificial for no reason. Now we better get there, the daylight is
coming. Our kind can feel it long before it peaks over the horizon.
We have not gained Nichola's resistance. Hurry , or this will never
work. "


Natalie put the car in drive and headed to the loft. Janette patted
Nat's cheeks to wipe away the tears, but not enough that Nichola
wouldn't know. It was time he saw for himself just how much his
careless and wreckless behavior had taken a toll on those he love

Chapter 3


They all arrived at the loft, and made their way to the lift. They
waited patiently for the slow machine to grind to a halt. They
stepped inside the loft to see a most unhappy sight before them

There was Nick, standing with all the blinds wide open. He stood
there in the frame of one open window, glancing up into the sky. He
seemed not to hear them, or to be ignoring them completely. He was
without a shirt, but still wore the jeans stained with blood that he
had been wearing before. His ribs stuck out with malnutrition. He was
weak, red eyed, and thin. The starvation had taken it's toll now. His
chest was marked with with fresh wounds, all in the shape of crosses
, and he wore holy water around his neck in a tiny bottle. Lacroix
sniffed the air, smelling holy water everywhere. The floors,
furniture, even Nick's hair was soaked in it. Blood ran down his
stomach and onto the floor from his legs and feet. Minute puddles
laid in droplets on the floor. He carried Joan of Arcs Cross in one
hand and a pure silver saber in the other. The blade was marked with
the Crest of his Family, the De Brabant Crest. Like a bloody martyr
he stood, stone still in the window frame. A light breeze ruffled the
curls at the base of his neck, lifting the hair away from his
shoulders. Then he whispered something to the night air. Even Janette
and Lacroix barely heard it.

"Forgive me father, for I have sinned. May I be forgiven for my
wrong doings and deceptions against my lord. Let me find peace in the
hear after. I have atoned and this last toll is all I can pay for the
thing I am and the evil I possess within me. Let me find everlasting
rest this final dawn of my existence."

The sun began to rise and Lacriox and Janette were forced to stand
in the shadows, to escape the deadly rays. Nick smiled, feeling
nothing at first. Then slowly small wisps of smoke made their way
from his skin as he began to burn. He turned to them, giving a sad
look to each, but saying not another word. Tearing a single drop of
blood one more time, he closed his eyes and leaned forward, falling
head first out of the window.

But Lacroix was quicker then lighting, catching on to Nick's feet .
He pulled him back inside and closed the window, throwing Nick
against the floor. Nat closed the blinds up tight. Lacroix walked
towards his son, ready to give him a good lashing and a lecture, but
Natalie beat him to the punch, literally. She hit Nick in the chest
as hard as she could with doubled fists, actually making him flinch.
The impact caught him by surprise and he almost felt his head hit the
floor. She let him stand up, her chest heaving in rage and adrenaline.

"You selfish, stupid, inconsiderate basturd, how dare you ?! Do you
care about anyone but yourself?! Look at you, so courageously
throwing yourself out a window and into the sun so the world would
live without your "evil" in it! You know you are too weak to step
into light today, don't you?! Do you ever think about the people who
love you and care for you? Do you think about anything except your
damn guilt! Do you ever just stop to think?!"

He looked at her in anger and sadness and spoke.

"Love, what love. If you are talking about the two in back of you,
you have to be sadly mistaken. Janette can't stand the sight of me
anymore since I have wanted to become mortal, or I did. My quest has
turned our love sour over many years. And Lacroix, he has only loved
one other besides himself. He does not love me, he owns me. I am the
slave and he is the master, or he was till I walked away. He just
wants his due. Did he tell you about Fleur, my sister, how I stopped
him from bringing her across. He swore that if ever I loved a mortal,
I would have to pay in kind. I can't love you or he will kill you. He
hates me worst of all. So why do you care if I die. I have been
nothing but trouble for you, Nat. It is obvious in your reaction that
I annoy you. Just let me die then."

She slapped him hard across the face, hearing him growl. Then she
turned away, not seeing a tear roll down his cheek. He wiped it away
quickly, not wanting her to see how much her being in pain and being
angry at him hurt him. He wanted her to hate him, and it appeared to
him he was almost succeeding. She turned around facing him again.

"You said you loved me, Nick, you said you would never leave me.
What was that, a bunch of bull shit? A lie to shut me up so that you
could go on feeling sorry for yourself. Shame on me for thinking that
you ever cared about me or anyone else. It's always about you , isn't
Nick. Just you , you, you. "

" I spoke the truth, Natalie. I do love you and I always will. But
what good is that going to do? A bird may love a fish, Nat, but where
would they live? I am a vampire, you are not. I can not force you to
live in my existence and you can not help me anymore to live in
yours. What kind of Life can we ever have? What kind of love could
come out of my evil, dead heart."

She slapped him hard once more, then again. He took the blows,
knowing full well that he deserved them.

"You basturd. You rotten stinking, lying basturd. How dare you speak
to me as if I am a child. I know we are different. But we could be
the same. All it would take is a little love, a little courage, and a
little faith in us, in what we have. Stop being a chicken shit Nick.
Take a chance for once in you exsistence"

Nick looked at her with a sarcastic smile.

"I did take a chance once.I tried to find humanity through love. And
lets not forget about the choice of me wanting to be a vampire. Look
at how well they turned out."

" So what , you made a couple of bad decisions and you just cash in
your chips? OOOh thats really mature Nick. How very adult of you. You
don't like the cards you're dealt so you just give up."

Nick went to defend himself.

" You don't know what it's like, so how can you claim to know what I
am doing. I didn't give up. I wanted to be mortal again, to atone..to"

"To die to escape , because you don't like it here. My god , what I
wouldn't give to be in your shoes. To have lived the life you're
living. To be able to see the world with your eyes. You have what few
people ever get to even dream of. You can fly....that is a rare gift.
So you don't get a sun tan, but with training and patience you can
gain back at least some tolerance for daylight. And I don't think it
will take you 800 years if you start after a year of being a vampire.
Maybe it will go faster if you don't wait as long as you did. There
are hundreds of possiblies Nick, a hundred new worlds to see. Why
would you ever give that up. Oh right, the killing to live part.
Drinking blood. Thats what started this whole mess didn't it. You
don't mind being a vampire, that was never your problem. It's the
blood....the fact that you have to kill right?"

Nick nodded, hoping she was finally seeing things his way.

"Yes , killing people isn't right. It can tear a man up inside. And
in this day and age, killing is dangerous. I just can't do that to
you Nat, I can't."

" How about asking me what I want for a change. You know Nick , it
isn't always about you. You say you don't want to 'force' me into
your type of existence. Well, if you would just stop being so self
absorbed, you would remember that I made that choice a year ago and
you agreed. Ah I see you did forget. We had our chance then. You
nearly drained me, but you didn't. You see a near defeat, I don't.
You stopped just in time to turn me. But instead you just chickened
out, like you always do when we get close. Oooh, don't get too close
Nick, you might actually have a chance at true happiness. Wouldn't
want that to happen now would we. I understand about the risks. I
don't care what kind of chance we are taking, just as long as it
means being together. But you care too much. And that care is ruining
what little chance we have got.

"I need to keep you safe Nat. I can't do that if I am turning you.
Drink, feed, you tell me. Do you have any idea of the thing you will
become. Vampirism isn't magical, Nat. It's a curse, a sickness of the
blood. So you really want that so badly. Always night, never sun. You
live in fear of the daylight. No crosses or churches or even garlic.
And those are the simple ones. You feel disgust as the smell of
flowers and other people around you. Your friends and family and
loved ones look like tasty snacks. The very world gives you a
headache and the smell of it makes you so sick sometimes you can't
breath. Are you so needy for that. Are you so willing to risk
anything just so you can get a little closer to me then you can now?
Well you may be willing to mess up your life, but I won't do it for
you. You want to be a vampire so bad, then find someone who doesn't
give a damn."

Natalie couldn't take it anymore. With a final slap she ran up the
stairs, tossing herself on Nick's bed. She finally let the tears run
down her face. Damn him for doing this to her, for making her feel
pain like this. She loved him so badly, needed him so much. She
buried her face in her arms and let the sobs of a broken heart rack
her body. It was no use, no use. Nick would never love her.

Janette saw her run up the stairs, and heard the quiet sound of
tears. She walked up the stairs, going to comfort the poor woman.
Entering the room, she sat on the bed, patting Nat on the shoulder.

"Qui, Natalie, you have a right to be angry."

" Damn straight I have a right to be angry. Why does Nick always
have to be so pigheaded and stubborn about everything. I am offering
him unending love and some sort of a peaceful happiness. Why is he
being to stupid about it? Why Janette? Please explain it to me. You
have known him longer maybe you know something that I do not."

"Well, what Nichola' said is right, what you are asking for is
dangerous to do. But he does not take chances, because he fears what
it might do to you. Or that he might really kill you this time. He
does this out of love. I wager though, that that was not the kind of
love you wanted to share with him. I understand your need to be with
him."

Natalie looked at her.

"A little control is all it would take. Have you ever sired any
vampires Janette? Surely you must have sired at least one after a
1,000 years of life."

"No I have never made another. I myself have always been too much
the glutton to do any sort of siring of vampires. I am just too
greedy. By the time I finish, my promise of eternity is broken, but
by then , there is no one left to apoligize to. And besides I am not
the mothering type really. I tried once but it turned out to be bad
for me."

"How about Nick then? Hasn't he ever turned a vampire before my
brother. I have to believe that they don't all turn out like that"

"Yes , Nicola' has sired more then Richard. But he has never been
good at it. Nick has never been one of control...when it came to
passion and love. But I think he has forgotten to mention something.
It is the one demon in his past he has never been able to let go.
When he was a fledgeling, barely turned for a year, he fell in love
with a mortal woman. Alyssa was the apple of his eye. On the night
that they wed, he tried to turn her, but failed. He drained her
completely. Since then any that he has turn, have either loathed him
or betrayed him. Elizabeth the leper he made beautiful and she took
out her revenge on an entire village. He had to kill her. Serena
hates him, because of a mistake anyone of us could have made. She
asked him to make her etermal. He thought she meant to be a vampire,
what she meant was to give her a child. Since then she has never
forgiven him. He has turned maybe a total of ten, including your
brother, and all have turned badly for him. He does not want what
little relationship you have to turn to dust, and that is why he
denies you that risk you are so willing to take. I honestly think he
is so frightened , he is unwilling to try. With me, it was different.
I was already made, it was easier to use me when his passion for you
got too high. I'd hear him whisper your name in sleep most nights.
All he wants is you. He desires you as he has no one else, not even I
or his precious Alyssa."

" I don't care. I want him to take me, Janette. I want him to show
me his love.To risk everything, even if it means my very soul. I love
him so much. To live without him I realize would be too much to me. I
want to share my life with him, to give him my love in return of his
own. Is what I ask so terrible. He makes it sound like I am going to
get the plaugue from him.

" Nihola reveres life. All things about it are precious to him. You
are the one thing in his dakrness that brings any light. You are the
only thing he holds above the mindless existence he has made for
himself. This is how he sees it. And for him, the longer you wait,
the more chances he has at repenting. This is his way of trying to
protect you. Unfortunately it makes things worst instead of better
for the both of you."

I don't care what he is afriad of. What terrible thing he thinks he
might be doing to me. I am tired of waiting. I want us to be
together. And with you and Lacroix being here, you can stop him in
time, before he takes too much. You said you would help me. Help me
then, please Janette. Please?"

Janette looked into her tearfully pleading eyes and smiled.

" Well I didn't come here to see you get upset. Of course I will
help. We will push him till he has to let go. We vampires do not go
half way on anything. You will get your lover tonight , me qui, you
will most definitely will."

Down stairs, Lacroix and Nick were having a talk of their own. Nick
sat on the floor, after Lacroix had knocked him half way across the
room in anger.Then he picked Nick up by the shoulders and shook him
hard. Nick shed a few tears.

"Nicholas, you should weep, for you are indeed a basturd. How dare
you bring Fleur into this? I am still angry, but to kill your love,
or bring her across myself, would have truely lost you from me. Do
you really believe I would be so stupid. I knew you lied to me that
night at Azure. You must not think too highly of me if you think I
would fall for such a stupid prank. Do you know when you are lucky ,
mon fils? Do you understand what a gift you have before you? You have
a real chance at that damned peace you care so much about. Why do you
have to deny , to be so stubborn all the time?"

" Because she deserves better, Lacroix. She deserves a human life
and a husband. She deserves to be able to have children and be
normal. She needs better then the dark she is asking for. "

"She doesn't seem to care what you think she needs. You are a poor
smitten fool, aren't you. Love and guilt has clearly fogged your
brain so much so you no longer see straight. She wants you. I am not
even looking at her now and I know it. Why can't you just do as you
are told for once Nicholas, hmm. Must you always be so brainless."

" Better to be guilty then to be like you. You are sure one to talk
about love. You love no one but yourself. You say you love me, you
can't. I doubt you even know the meaning of the word."

" You insolent ingrate. How dare you presume to know what I feel and
don't feel.You think I have lived 2,000 years to be picked apart by
the likes of you. My son, I truely know the meaning of the word love,
more then you can ever know or understand. Know that if I did not,
you would be dead and gone long before now. As would Janette and your
doctor friend. I kept her alive because of you. If you do not think I
love you, then you do not understand the first thing about the sire
and the childe, which any fledging automatically knows. Even if I
wanted to hate you, I could not. Our bond is one of blood and soul.
There was a time we were together, mon portage, but it is long
forgotten. I do not care if you don't kill to survive. But to starve
in an attempt to be noble, that is the most selfish thing I have
heard from you. How can you decide if we want you or not. Well no
more, my starving childe. You may have the light and your god, but
you will not, can not turn away from me and the truth that is here
tonight. You are my creation, my son, and I refuse to lose you. I did
not lose you to a demon, I did not lose you to vampire hunters, and I
did not lose you to your precious mortality. I will not lose you now
to something so puny as Starvation. Come now my son. Where is the
Nicholas I knew, so vibrant, so full of life you were once. Even when
you fought me, at least you were living with spirit. Now you are
nothing but and empty shell. Know this, mon fils. If I were not to
love you, I would not have come at all. Know that before you go
jumping to your death."

Natalie and Janette came down the stairs, catching the last part of
Lacroix's little speech. Nat looked at Nick with a wanting no other
could match, save one. The self same look now mirriored on Lacroix's
face as he stared angrily at his son. Janette stood beside Nat,
looking at her sire with a sad look of pain. 'Ma Qui' she thought '
Lucius is pulling out everything tonight'. I have never seen him look
so open before'. The girls looked onward, silent and waiting to see
what would happen next.


"You talk to me about being selfish, but listen to yourself. I
belong to you, I am yours to own. Are you so old and twisted you
can't realize those are not words of love, but of control , of
possession. I am not a trinket Lacroix, and I belong to no one but
myself."


"Fine my son, you need proof that I love you, that I want you as a
father wants a child, then so be it. Consider this my gift of love."


Lacroix opened his shirt with one hand and brought Nick closer to
him. He sliced through the skin over his heart with a sharpened claw,
and grimaced in pain as he dug deeper into the wound with his
fingers. Finally satisfied, he pulled his fingers out of the wound.
The vampire in Nick roared to life, unable to be controlled so close
to his sire's blood. Nick locked his mouth to Lacroix's chest,
gulping down the fiery liquid. Lacroix wrapped his hand around Nick's
head holding his son to him, as they both sank to their knees.
Lacriox brought Nick's wrist to his mouth, turned his head, and bit
into flesh. Blood flooded his mouth. The bond was complete. Nick's
mind reeled from the feelings from Lacriox. So strong, so raw, so
open. It was too much to bare. He struggled to pull back, to let go.
But Lacroix's other hand held him steady fast to his postion. The
actions of this night were very clear to all. One way or another, he
would feed. And deep down in his soul, a part of Nick's wall of stone
cracked away, then another. The ice around his heart began to melt.
This was too much. He moaned against Lacroix's cool flesh.


Nat looked on with shock written all over her face. She never
expected to see this blood joining. She felt the power of incredibly
strong emotions flow through the room. If Lacroix had been a light of
love, he would have been blinding. The tremble in Nick's body told
her he was getting much more then she was. She looked at Janette, who
swayed like she was drunk, no doubt from the onslaught of emotions
that ripped through all of them.


Then Janette grabbed Nat's wrist and bit into it, and then her own.
She walked forward, dragging the doctor towards Nick. She bit into
her other wrist on the way, and alone reaching Nick , bit into him
remaining wrist. The she joined one wrist with Nick's and one with
Natalie's before finally speaking.


"Now, push into you blood all the emotions you feel for him. Every
desire, every love, every want, everything. Show him, Natalie, as we
must, that he is loved. Show him how much you truely love him, both
man and vampire. But be warned, you're going to get a flood of
emotions as well. It is the only way to break away the first walls of
ice that Nichola is hiding in. Sit and claim with blood the man you
love and will love forever."


Natalie pushed as much heart felt emotion into her blood as she
could, and was nearly knocked out by the force of the raging emotions
she felt from all of them, but particularly from Nick. It was
amazing, the force of his pain and his love.

Janette spoke out, determed for Nicola' to hear the truth and feel
the truth once and for all.

"Nichola', here is your proof, mon amour. Here is too much love for
you to hide from. Feed, feed until you burst with it. See that we
will not let you go away. You belong here with us, with the ones that
love you so much it hurts inside. Even your cold sire has given you
the gift he has never given anyone. No more pain, no more guilt. Feed
Nichola', feed and be free."

Nick spun with all the emotions pouring into him. The wall of icy
guilt and stony depression shattered. He drank until a calm reached
into him, and Lacroix let go of his wrist. He broke away and laid
back, his head falling hard to the floor. He felt strangely empty
without them there. He just lied there, his eyes closed, and tried to
build up the walls he so took comfort in. But it was no use, love
held him in a warm, almost painful grip.

Janette made no move to break contact with Natalie's wrist. Too lost
in her thoughts to get through the fog. The emotions were still so
strong. But Lacroix's silent tap on her shoulder was enough. She
broke her wrist from Nat, and Natalie fell backwards.

Natalie's mind reeled in pain, Nick's pain. So much pain, so much
torment. It rippled through her. But the pain was notjust one alone.
Nick's pain was first, and the most powerful. But he was clearly not
alone. Lacroix's pain was there too...barely, but there. And even
Janette felt pain at the torture and guilt Nick put himself through.
Together with the jumble of memories from the three vampires that
flooded her head, it overcame her and she screamed. A heart wrenching
scream tore from her lips, and she held her head in pain. It was too
much for her mortal mind to take. Too much for her mortal heart to
bare. Tears soaked her cheeks slowly as she laid on the floor,
writhing in torment.


Nick sat up instantly, leaning over Natalie and picked her up,
cradling her head against his chest. He put his other hand on top of
her head. He knew she was suffering the memories that came with any
blood sharing. He tried not to think about what else she suffered
from. For he knew that any pain she suffered aside from the memories
would be a direct result of what she had shared with Janette. His
pain being hers would be too much to bare.

Nat looked at him, and tears filled her eyes. She also felt the love
he had. For her first. It was the most powerful love she had ever
felt before. It matched only hers for him. She reached to touched his
cheek gently. But the torrent of agony in her brain stopped her.

He spoke to her softly.


"Calm yourself, Nat. Take comfort in me. Let the memories bleed
away. "


Nat looked away from him, trying hard to focus. The memories let go,
but Nick's guilt, pain and torture were unending. She looked at him
again in a silent plea, and Nick turned his head to his sire.


"Help me, help her. Over 2000 years of memories are causing her
pain. This will drive her crazy, it will destroy her. Please, help
her Father."

"I would help her, my son, but I can not. It isn't the memories she
is suffering from right now. It your pain, your self torment, and
your precious guilt. It must run it's course inside her. Love,
Nicholas, rarely comes without a price. She knew that before coming
here. You have paid yours by torturing yourself, she is paying hers. "

"Nick held her to him and tears filled his eyes. But he did not cry."

"I am sorry, Nat, so sorry"

Natalie raised her crying eyes to Nick's and banged a fist against
his chest. The pain was receding but the knowledge of it she knew
would only go away when Nick stopped feeling it.

"Sorry? Nick, you should have told me. God why do you do this to
yourself. I know how, but I can't understand why. If I knew this was
your price for the quest of mortality, I would have never agreed to
it. You could have said something"


"And force you to live in my hell? I would never...."


Her eyes glared in pain, anger and sadness. This was enough now. She
would make him see.

"Didn't you trust me enough to handle it. God, Nick, I love you,
damn it. All of you. Stop carrying that damn scepter of self-torment. "

She thought for a moment and looked at him deeply

" 'Take comfort in me' "


"Even if that comfort may cost you your very soul."


She sighed in frustration, trying to make it clear to him. Then the
song on the radio made her listen. She knew this song. She walked
over to the radio, and starting the song again, waited for the part
she knew would make sence to Nick.

"I'm the sacrefice...... you won't try for me not now .....Though
I'd die to know you love me.... I'm all alone....."

As Nick's loft filled with music, he listened to the words. His eyes
bled tears as he listened. Did she care for him so much? Did she love
him so deeply? No he had to make her see, tell her that he wouldn't
be there for her.

He looked at Janette and Lacroix and a truth came flooding back.
They all loved him, each in their own way, but the love was true.
Janette walked up to him and spoke, laying a hand on his shoulder as
he locked eyes with the swaying, singing figure of Nat in front of him.

"Do you see now, Nichola', why we can not leave you alone. Why we
force you to accept something you so obviously hate. Look at her,
even as she sways the pain torments her. Look upon her and see what
we have seen from you everyday for many centuries. Do you even wonder
now why we get so angry and turn our face away from yours. She is
suffering right now because she must. You suffer this every day by
choice. We had to be hard as ice around you, or your guilt and pain
would have ripped us in two. Lacroix is your maker, your father, your
sire. No bond is deeper then the one you share with him. You felt
everything from each other once. Can you see why he blocked you away.
You only have to see this once Nichola'. He has seen it every time
you do it, every time you let guilt take you. Love for life is one
thing, but endless self torment. That is hard for any father to see
in his child, even if his child is the one to blame. Give up your
pain, stop your foolish guilt and for once see the gifts you were
about to throw away this morning and every morning you starve and get
self destructive. Open your eyes Mon amour, open them and see the
world as it is, not what you would make it. "

Nick finally understood now, looking into Natalie's eyes as the song
stopped and she stared back at him. It was crushing this blow. But he
had something to counter with, a song that he knew would let all of
them know just how he felt. He went to the radio and press the button
to the number song he wanted. As the song began, he saw all eyes on
him. He knew this moment, this song had to count.


"I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless lost under the surface
Don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)"

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you"

Nick ran his hands through his hair in a flare. He floated off the
floor and growled, letting his vampire fangs enlongate and sharpen.
With a vampire emenence in his eyes, he looked at each of them and
began to sing again.

"Can't you see that you're smothering me
Holding too tightly afraid to lose control
Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
And every second I waste is more than I can take

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

And I know
I may end up failing too
But I know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I'm tired of being what you want me to be"

Nick landed on the floor, his features back to normal. He closed his
eyes, breathing a sigh. He hoped that had got the point across to
them. Ecspecially Lacroix

They all stared at Nick as the song ended. Lacroix's eyes were
confused. Is this how his son felt towards him? He knew he had been
tough on Nicholas at times, but he never expected that he was so
controling as that. He turned away, thinking of the words his son
just had just sung. It had definately hit home.

Janette and Natilie were dumb struck. The song had hit them more
then Lacroix. Natilie's eyes teared. Was that how Nick felt about
her? It hurt to know that her badgering him had driven him to this
point...but it wasn't just her. She looked at the two vampires and
realized that they too had been pushing him all these many years.
They were pulling at him terribley and in two directions. She had
been hard on Nick sometimes, but she had no idea that this would be
the end result. She shook her head. No not this time. She wouldn't go
soft on him this time. Nick was to blame more then any of them. He
pushed himself with his constant preassure of himself. It was a
troubling situation, but tonight Nat knew that for the sake of them
all that she would have to stick to her guns. Tonight was it. She
would not back down.

Nick saw the look in their eyes, and knew his song had hit home. He
flew up the stairs in escape of them. He couldn't face them now it
was too hard. He would lock himself in his room.

But Natalie and Janette were hot on his trail. They wouldn't let him
escape, not after that. Janett ran up the stair at vampiric speed,
but waited at the top for Natalie. They captured Nick in their grasp,
and each smiled at the other. Now the fun part came. Let the lustful
fires and wild desire burn all day along. Let the seduction begin.

As soon as they touched him, he felt the desire go through him.
Lacroix leaned against the door . As soon as Nat reached out to kiss
him, the vampire almost came to life . Nick held it in barely. Being
renewed with Lacroix's blood was making the beast too strong. He
pulled away from her.

"Nat you can't ...I can't ....I'll hurt you."

"Nicholas, my son, I don't think you get to choose this time. You
will have her, bring her across and love her forever as you must. Do
not turn away, because tonight there is no where to run, no where to
go. Stop your foolish morals from swallowing you , because you will
most likely die from them."

" I won't take her. I can't. Her innocence may not matter to you,
but it does to me. I am not you, Lacroix, I can not destroy her light
and humanity so easily. I can not ignore human life....I just...."

Lacroix pounded the wall with his fist putting a hole through it. He
walked up to Nick and growled low and menacing in his throat. He had
had enough. He would make his son see. He shook Nick hard, then held
him but an inch from his face.

"That's enough. By the stars, do you ever realize how stupid you
are, how very foolish. To think such a thing as mortality and
immortality could be switched and switched back so easy. Blissful
isn't it, to think that in one moment you can be purified of your so
called sins and die whole. But such things have never existed in our
world, and they won't. We are vampires. We, me and you,Nicholas. We
chose this fate. Our souls wanted this when we were made. We had the
chance to turn away and die "pure" like the rest of the human race,
but we did not. No matter how terrible the choice was for you, to die
or live forever, you chose to be as you are. That is why, no matter
how much you fight against your nature or search for a cure, a way
back to humanity, you shall remain thus. After 800 years of life, you
have learned nothing. Why do you deny, why do you search for that
which can not and won't be found. "


Lacroix's eyes glared with anger and pain at his son. Why did his
creation have to be so stupid. Nick tried to look away, but Laciox
grabbed a hold of his face. He would make his son understand. Make
him see.

"I've saved you and saved you, getting in just by a moment, before
you were beyond help, and you've done it over and over again. Well no
more. I can not watch you suffer yourself any longer. For to see you
in pain hurts me more then you can know. What has this denial done
for you, my son? What has it helped? NOTHING!!"

" You speak about being numb and being ignored. But you chose it to
be that way. Asking for mortally and immortally at the same time. You
put this onto yourself, my son. Well not tonight. Tonight you for
once let all that Numbness go. Tonight you will give in."

Nick growled at Lacroix.

" You are badgering me for wanting to save her, keeping her safe
from my dark exsistence.Why should I listen to you again. You've done
enough damage to my life."

Lacroix growled at him.

" I have done many things to you in your life time, but damage is
not one of them. True I am a tough father, and have disciplined you
at times more then I really should have. But you do not understand
the nature of the situation. I gave you a gift no human father could
ever give to his son. A human son is born into a family. But you were
specail. You were choosen to be my son. Do you realize just how much
that means. I made you a vampire, my prince. I gave my only choosen
daugther to you as a bride. I gave you a part of me. Not many can say
that about their fathers Nicholas. My blood flows through your veins
and yours through mine. We share a deep connection because of that. A
bond that goes far beyond intimacy. I have loved none as I have loved
you. Cared for no one more then I have cared for you. Yet you spit in
my face. I gave you beauty, endless power, a forever life. I gave you
a true gift. Why is it that I gave you something so preacious and yet
you hate me so much because of that self same gift."

" I don't hate you Lacroix. I dislike your outlook on things. You're
devil-may-care attitude. The death of innocent mortals is just an
every day thing with you. You care nothing about the life that gives
you the ability to live your own. I am not like you, Lacroix. I am
tired of killing poeple. I want to redeem, to make up for what I have
done to countless innocent lives. I want to be mortal. Why is that
such a decease to you? What happened to you to make you hate humanity
so much."

Lacroix sneered .

"I do not hate humanity Nicholas. I was human once too, and a damned
good one at that. However I believe strongly in being one's self. You
don't have to kill anyone. In fact, in this day and age, it is damned
near forbidden. But denying yourself the right of immortally is not
only pointless, but deadly to our kind. Even your doctor friend here
has voted for the vampire. In denying yourself human blood, you have
become less then a man. You are numb, hollow, and starving to death.
Do you, who has searched so long and hard for life, care for life so
little you would vote to kill yourself? You are not Nicholas anymore,
my son. You are dying already. When are you going to come to your
senses and stop this foolishness.

Nick turned away from Lacroix. He knew his master would never
understand why he tried to kill himself this morning. He met eyes
with his sire moments later.

" After the fight I have had to endure, sometimes I feel that the
only cure to my suffering is death. You are right I am no good to
anyone. My life matters little anymore"

Lacroix growled and struck Nick on the back of the head. Though it
made a sound, it was no where near a crushing blow. He pointed to
Natalie

" You matter to her. You matter to me and Janette. You mattered to
all those humans whom you have protected and served. You mattered to
your two partners, both whose death were not your fault. When are you
going to learn that it's not about what you want, or feel. It is the
people around you you have to consider too. And right here, there are
three who think that you dying is just not the right solution to this
situation you have put yourself into."

Lacroix set Nick down and looked him straight in the eye.


"You are so worried about mortal life, how precious it is, how good
it would be. Humans are no better off then we. Most of the time they
destroy each other. We feed from them, and in these times, most live.
They donate it, give it freely to us. So a few of the weak die. So
what. They will all die, eventually. What is good and evil and how is
it decided. Are humans really better then us? Think for a moment. Has
our kind ever killed for greed or money? Have we ever fought to make
our beliefs of religion someone else's . How often do we fight
amongst ourselves to prove who is the better. We are better, Mon
prote'ge, superior as a race, then the mortals. Not because of our
abilities or powers. Because we need none of the things that they
battle so hard amongst themselves for. We kill because of a need to
survive. It is how we are made. We are a noble race, my son. We feel
love, we feel passion, like mortals do, but only we have the ability
to understand what a gift such emotions truely are. Nicholas, humans
are so frail, their reasoning so muddled, that they never stop to
even enjoy the life you are so ready to give up your existence for."

"You fight yourself so much, you suffer, because you spend too much
time thinking about damnation to your soul. Foolish boy, think. You
will never die, never, so what damnation, if it even exists, will
come to you , if you will never have the unfortunate chance of
getting there. You fight your own morals,Nicholas, your own ideals.
Why? Stop this please. Stop suffering yourself and enjoy your
immortality. Live and let this stupid guilt come to a rest. Fight
yourself no more. Do not mourn that which you can not have, for you
are just mourning the death that comes from mortal life. That is all.
Morality does not stand in the face of survival. You chose this life,
and you can not repent or unchose it, because you have done nothing
wrong. Nicholas, you are a Vampire. You have been and always will be.
Live as you are, mon prote'ge, live as you are."

Nick stared at his father. It was true what he said. Then Nick shook
his head.


" No Lacroix, I won't do that to her. I will except that I must live
this way, but I will not bring her into the darkness with me. How can
I live with the knowledge that I might hurt her, or kill her again."

Janette decided to chime in, realizing that entirely too little of
the conversation involved her.

"How can you live without her, Nichola. You will have to one day,
live without her. She will crumble and die and there is nothing to be
done unless you do it now. Already I feel the weak connection
forming. My blood might just make her half vampire, then the
enforcers will surely kill her. She knows too much now anyway. Have
you ever thought of asking her what she wants instead of what you
want. Ask her what she wants for once, Nichola, and stop being so
self-indulgent."

He looked at Natalie's eyes, taking her upper arms in his hands.
With his eyes he pleaded with her, trying to make her not want it,
for he was too frightened to dare bite her now. Full or no, the beast
would have free reign, and he was not sure he would have control. He
didn't trust himself, not after the last time. But she looked back at
him with determination and stubbornness.


"Nick, I love you, nothing will change that. I don't care what it
takes, I just want you here with me. If that means becoming a
vampire, then I will. The only down side to that it seems is drinking
blood, and that is not so bad. Most blood these days come from
donation. The hospital throws out more blood a day then you swallow
in a year. So feeding won't be so hard. And look at you. You are
gaining more time in the sun now then you ever were. I noticed that
as we increased the dosage of human blood you take in, the time
increases rather then decreases. The better you are the more humanity
you gain. Being human and living with humanity are two different
things. You can never be human Nick. After so many years, I have
learned to accept that, and after 800 years, you should too. What has
happened in the past, the deaths you caused, you paid your penance,
and it's time to move on. 800 years of unending guilt is killing you
and dragging us down to suffer with you. How do you expect to live
forever the way you are going about it. I want you, I need you, and
there is nothing you can do to stop that. Would you rather have me
for a little while and hold me at arms length, or risk my death to
give us an eternity to love and live together as a couple, and as a
family. Please Nick don't you see. Love me. Love is the only way to
find the peace you crave."

Nick looked into her eyes and saw that she meant her words. He
struggled, trying to see through his morals for a moment. Nat stuck
her finger in his mouth before he had a chance to stop her, and she
cut her finger against his razor sharp canine. Though it was not
descended, it cut through her skin, drawing blood to the surface. She
laid it on his tongue. He went to pull it away, but instead pulled
her finger further into his mouth, sucking on it so hard her finger
almost hurt. He let her go as the wound began to heal. He knew now,
blood never lied. He would risk anything to be with her. Slowly he
nodded.


"I will risk everything that I have if it means I may have you for
eternity."

He looked to Lacroix and Janette

"You two must be my torch light, my control, so that I do not take
too much. If she dies, I die too, whether you like it or not."


They nodded back, complying. They looked at each other with a smile.
Soon they would be a family again and have a new fledging in the
process. This was turning out to be a splendid night indeed, far
easier then Lacroix had anticipated. He left the room for the time
being, letting the girls have their fun with Nicholas. His would come
later, alone. He would not have his son any other way. He took the
guess room, neatly put together, and closed the door behind him,
preparing himself for the hum of desire he was about to get through
the blood link with his children. It was torture, but, Ah, what a
sweet torture indeed.

Nick saw Janette lock the door when Lacroix left and then circle
around him. She was like a caged tiger, and a growl rumbled in her
throat much too low for Nat to hear. He saw Natalie do the same,
circle around him, the grace of lioness in her body. Her heart
beating with courage and trust in her eyes. He knew that would be the
only thing that would keep him from killing her when the time came
for him to do what he had to do. They started undressing him, and
hands touched every area of his flesh, all save one. They would let
him suffer as they suffered time and again for all the times they had
wanted to have him and he denied them. Janette knew she was there for
tempting and waking him up, but she wanted to tease him.

Nat was the focus of his desire,and she teased him so much his eyes
rolled up in his head. He bit his lip hard in fustration, drawing
blood. He groaned as their hands walked all over his body. It was so
intense it burned him. Janette kissed his throat, nipping the vein
ever so lightly, but the beast in Nick stayed tight under his
control. Natalie claimed his mouth, and rubbed her tongue against his
canines, surrounding his fangs with it. His jaw screamed at him
silently in pain at the gentle touch of her tongue against his
Canines. It was getting harder, but at this early stage he was able
to keep his fangs from coming in. Golden red flecks hid beneath the
surface of his eyes, showing that the beast would not be held
forever. Such control, such control he had. He felt Natalie's finger
touch his abdomen, just above his turgid member, and she drew it in a
circle, across his thighs, and back where she had started. He willed
himself to stand still, and hold himself silence. He would wait until
the last possible moment before letting the beast within him claim
his body. He reached out to touch Natalie, who was now in her red
lace bra and panties. Such rich red, he thought, the color of shining
blood. But she danced away from him.


" No no, Nicholas" Nat smiled at the surprise on his face " You are
going to have to wait your turn, we are still having fun. Just sit
back, be teased, be pleasured and be still."


He heard her say his full name, something that she had never done
before. It was the way she said it, sexual desire and a hungry love
dripping his name from her lips. He stood there as if made of
chiseled granite. His face was a mask of strain as they covered his
chest with small kisses, each taking her turn. Janette stopped in
back of him, looking over his shoulder at Natalie, and gave a
suggestive nod downward. Nat nodded in agreement. She loved this,
pleasuring him, driving him half mad with lust. It was the way she
had felt in the last 6 years. She kneeled before him, and without a
moments notice, took his stiff manhood into her mouth, willing her
throat to take him in fully. She knew how to do this, oddly enough.
All those years in High School and College, where oral sex was
considered a big thing. She almost opened the memories of her teen
years, but closed them before she could. She concentrated on Nick,
feeling his balls touch her chin and slap her there every time she
went back down. With that Janette played with the vein in his neck,
nipping slighty, and then sucking, without drawing blood. His eyes
bolted open, skipping the golden shine he would normal get first, and
going to deep blood red. His fangs dropped without a thought. But his
lips remained tightly shut, as he tried to gain control of the fierce
wave of fiery wanting swept through him. He would let them have their
fun, but for how long he wasn't certain. It would be difficult to
keep this up much longer, but he would try his hardest. Natalie
quickened the pace and sucked harder, and tears of blood came from
Nick's eyes, but he stood unmoving. His whole body vibrated with
pleasure, and he grabbed Natalie's head back with a growl, and moved
out of Genets reach, smiling to them, still tight lipped. They looked
at him, eyes heavy lidded with lust, and began to walk to him. He
spoke two words that told them everything.

" My turn"

He ascended apon Janette first, kissing her so fiercely he bit her
lip, drawing blood. He turned to Natalie and his kiss was slightly
less harsh, but drew blood from her tongue It was more then he could
handle. He pulled away and pointed to the bed, a growl in his voice.
They went to it, taking him with them. It was too much. He wanted
them everywhere, and yet some part of him knew he was not in control,
they were. He sat there breathing for a couple of minutes, and when
he looked up again, his eyes were blue. He had gained momentary
control of the beast again, but for how long. He ripped Nat's lace
bra and panties from her in one mighty tear and concentrated on her
breast, suckling them hungrily. She gasped and moaned, stirring him
onward. They laid him on the bed, and Nat straddled him around his
hips, teasing the tip of his engorged manhood with her labias. He
bucked upward, ramming into her with one thrust, and began a steady
rhythm. He saw Janette straddle his head, and he delved into her with
his tongue, and a feline like roar escaped her lips. He focused on
her to keep himself in control. Nat increased the speed, pumping into
him, moaning loudly. It was getting harder, the beast was screaming
inside him. Natalie saw this struggle inside, and saw Nick trying to
focus on Janette to keep himself away from revealing his beast. It
must be killing him. She withdrew from him and saw Janette bite his
wrist, releasing herself. Janette screamed and collapsed on the bed
sideways. She lay in silence for a while and then got up as if
nothing happened. Natalie looked at her with confidence.

" Janette, can you go and get Lacroix for me. Nick refuses to break
free from his morals as of yet. It is plain he needs more persuading."

" Oui , Natalie, I shall do just that. "

Natalie followed her to the door and leaned against the frame,
looking at Nick. He laid sprawled out on the bed, rigid and shaking
with feverish desire. She hadn't wanted to stop, it was so good, but
without Nick being open and fully enjoying it, it seemed pointless.
If he could not let go, then neither could she.

Lacroix appeared over her naked form. She looked at him and
whispered as low as she possibly could.

" Do whatever it is that you do, but don't let him release. Make him
break free, Lacroix. You are the only one left to snap him. "

He raised an eyebrow at her, and with a slight nod and a smile, he
spoke. " Oh well, then .I shall have to do my best, won't I"

She smiled and stepped aside. He walked in the room, in nothing but
pants. He looked at Natalie when she didn't leave. He raised a brow,
and decided to question her.

" Dear, I thought you were going to let me alone with him"

"No Lacroix, I said you could take him, I never said I would leave.
I want him to know I will not back down from him no matter what. I
want him to know I am here. He has to learn to trust I am not afraid
or disgusted, that I trust him with my very soul. And he has to learn
to trust me with his. I am staying"

Lacroix nodded and went to Nick, pullin his head up. . Natalie
watched with wide eyes, this was new to her, she had never felt the
connection like this before. Janette walked up in back of her and
smelled her desire. It was so intense, it poured from every pore. She
knew what she would have to do. She cut her wrist with a sharp claw
and offered it to Natalie.

" Janette, I am not so sure about this...if Nick is going to turn me
shouldn't I wait"

" Oui, I know that, but you need too. Share in the lust only we
vampires can know. Just pretend I am Nichola' and close your eyes. I
know what I am doing, and I won't hurt you."

Natalie Looked at the hand before her, not sure what to do. A few
drops couldn't do much harm. She closed her mouth around the wound
and swooned, closing her eyes. She felt a mouth on her neck, teasing
her vein with feather light nips. Lacroix so obviously finished with
whatever her did , nodded to Janette, who pulled her arm from
Natalie's mouth and walked her over to the bed.

" She crawled onto the bed. She looked at Nick's blood red eyes with
no fear and spoke.

" Nick, this is it. You have to finish as do I. We must complete
each other. You have to do this, or you will never be at peace. I
trust you with my life. Take me, and end your pain and mine. Forever
Nick, we'll be in love forever."

"Nat, no...I ...need too much. It hurts...please...too dangerous."

"Forget it this time Nick. No more about the dangers or the fears."

With that she wrapped her legs around Nick's waist and used her arms
around his neck to impale herself apon his stiff member. It was so
good to have him there again. She pulled his head back by his hair,
hearing him growl. With strong sucking nips, she followed the line of
his jugular vien. The assalt on his neck, was too much. Thats when he
grabbed her and held her close, beginning to move within her. She
picked up the pace quickly. They moved together, following the dance
of joining . It was true bliss as they built together, never breaking
eye contact. The pace quickened.Natalie's heart beat pounded in her
chest. Nick heard it and his eyes near glowed crimson with lust and
hunger. They moaned in breathlessness, each thinking only of the
other. Finally Nat bared her neck , pulling her hair aside with one
hand and holding his head with the other. He hesitated, afraid again.
The last time he did this, it had nearly cost her her life. But
Natalie would not have him doubt. She was stubborn, she had to be.
She pulled his head down and felt his lips brush across the vein, and
a growl rumbled in his chest. The beast had finally grabbed hold, and
would not let go without getting what it desired. Nat heard the
rumble and smiled.

" Now, Nick now. Take me, let me in. Forever, Nicholas de Brabant
Knight. Make me yours forever."

Nick pulled his chin up and drew a sharpened claw against his throat
over the vein, drawing blood, and reared his head up higher baring
razor sharp fangs. He bit down into her tender flesh and blood
flooded his mouth. Like the nectar of a goddess she tasted. He
brought her head down to his bloody shoulder and she opened her mouth
to it without hesitation, his blood flooding her mouth in turn. It
was sweet and slightly tangy. They drew from each other as climax hit
them both at the same time. It was glorious, lightening shining
behind their eyes. They stayed twined together, as Janette and
Lacroix paused in getting dressed to look at them with smiles on
their faces. Finally it was complete.

Nick withdrew and pulled Nat's head up. Her eyes were half closed.
He withdrew his manhood from her and laid her back on the bed,
joining her under the satin sheets. Janette and Lacroix moved towards
the entrance of the loft, leaving the pair alone. Before he drifted
off to sleep, Nick mumbles something so low, even Lacroix had
difficulty hearing it.

" Now Natalie, I am complete. Forever Natalie Lambert Knight. You
are with me forever. And now I belong to you"

And he drifted off into a peaceful sleep, waiting for the next night
to come.

Chapter 5

Nat woke the next day, just barely past dusk. She stretched out and
yawned. Nick lay in a dead sleep beside her. It must be too early for
him to rise up, she thought. Last night came whirling back to her,
but everything was foggy. What had happened? Flashes came to her in
bits and pieces, but too fast and unclear to tell what had gone on.
She got up and wrapped a sheet around her. Seeing shreds of clothing
around the room, she guessed in must have been one hell of a night.
She went to the guest room to get dressed in a tee shirt, sweats and
sneakers. She had always kept an extra set of clothing here, just
incase something happened. Now she was glad she had. She walked down
stairs and grabbed her pocket book and keys. She had to go back to
her place for a short time. She had to get some clothes to stay at
Nicks house with, she thought absentmindedly. She wrote a quick note
to Nick and walked out the door, almost humming to herself. It was a
good thing she was on vacation for a week, her body sort of ached.
Maybe it was last night, she thought to herself with a smile. She
made it to the underground garage, and got into her car. She started
up the car, and suddenly a pain hit her in the pit of her stomach, a
spasm so violent, tears filled her eyes. One after the other, the
spasms hit her, accompanied by a terrible need. Breathlessly she
thought out loud.

"I'm hungry , so hungry ....have to get to Nick...No he's
sleeping....mustn't wake him....god it hurts ...hurts"

Suddenly last nights events became very painfully clear. Nick's
blood in her mouth....Nick had turned her. She thought about what to
do. Should she wake Nick....no that would not be smart, trying to
wake a vampire. He might be a bad morning person and accidentally rip
her arm off or something. She pondered through the pain for a moment.
Then it came to her. The Raven, she would go to the Raven. Someone
there could help her. She floored it out of the garage, nearly
hitting Nick's caddy, and flew down the street, breaking several
speeding laws on her way. But her insides hurt. She had to get there
soon.

She arrived at the Raven at top speed, just under ten minutes. The
pain beat at her so hard she almost plummeted straight into the
building itself. She parked half up on the curve, almost left the car
running, and slammed her driver's sidedoor so hard the window broke.
She went to the door, pounding on it. No one answered. It was barely
past dusk, probably too early for any ordinary vampire to be up and
about. She went around back, pounding on the door there, but again no
one answered. Finally the pain got the best of her. She huddled in
the alley behind the Raven, rolling up into a shivering ball on the
ground. The pain ripped at her as she lay there. It hurt too much.
She sat there whimpering, praying maybe someone would come soon to
save her. Her mind traveled to her cell phone, and she barely pulled
it out. She pressed a button and the speed dial popped on, dialing
Nick's number. He picked up on the other end and said "Knight" but
when no one answered him, he hung up. Nat pulled her knees to her
head. She was so hungry.

There was a whoosh behind her, and she felt a familiar presence. It
was like a feeling she got when she was near her family, but
stronger. Finally a female voice pierced the cloud of agony inside
her head. It was Janette. Thank god, she thought silently.

" Listen, I do not like when dirty people sleep outside my club.
Now, I understand you hit hard times, and this looks like a good
place to sleep, but I would ask you to please remove..."

Her words stopped mid sentence. She felt it, the tingle, the bond,
and suddenly pain spread through her limbs. She went to Nat's shaking
form and gasped.

" Doctor Lambert, what are you doing here? Why didn't you stay with
Nichola'. Don't you know it is bad for a fledgling to run from the
master on the first night."

Nat barely whispered out her words.

" I forgot...the turning....didn't realize...Nick
sleeping...couldn't wake...came here....help..please help it....hurts
so much....hungry hungry."

"Of course you're hungry. You are going through the pains of first
hunger. You are lucky no one is about tonight. One human and you
would have a bloody mess on your hands. Never never leave your sire
in the first week of turning. It will be deadly not only to the
unfornate mortals you will meet but also to you. Felgeling's who are
careless often fall to the Enforcers.

Nat shook her head in understanding, blood tears coming down her
cheeks. She barely swallowed as the pain of hunger almost made her
dizzy. She had to have something soon or she would just die from the
raging pain alone.

Seeing her dire need to feed, Janette picked her up and flew with
all her vampire speed back to Nick's loft, coming in through the
skylight. Nick stopped just as he was about to step onto the lift. He
had felt Natalie's pain, and was going to go to her apartment to find
her. He saw Nat draped in Janette's arms, and took her to him. He
rested her head in the hollow of his neck, soothing her, but that was
all the incentive she needed. She didn't think, just bit down,
feeling blood fill her mouth. It was sweet pleasure as warmth spread
through her veins...it was so good. Nick roared, the vampire coming
to life, and then he stood there, pleasure hitting him. It felt so
good, Nat's happiness and love rushing over him. She took his blood
in powerful gulps...but he didn't stop her. Weaker and weaker he
grew, but it felt too good to push her away. He was draining fast,
but a smile lit his face.

Janette felt her brother getting weaker and stopped Nat, yanking her
away by the scruff of her neck. Nat growled at her, and Janette
growled back. Nat calmed herself. She relented to Janette with a bow
of her head. Janette was a 1000 year old vampire, it was dumb to
challenge her. Nick just collapsed in a dead faint. He didn't
move.....but a weak tingle from him told Janette that he was alive,
barely.

Another whoosh entered the loft. It was Lacroix. He had sensed the
turmoil all the way across town. He looked at Nat, feeling her
strength and then looked to his son, and felt almost none. It was
clear what happened. He bent down to pick up Nick, and laid him, back
down, on the couch, whispering in his ear.

"Oh my poor foolish boy, didn't anyone ever teach you never to offer
your neck to a new born. Love or no, there are limits to what you
should and should not do. Unless you want her to live without a
master, it is quite up to you. Come now, my son, rise and drink,
before you get feral."

Nick moaned and coughed. Somewhere he found the strength to open his
eyes to Lacroix's ice blue ones. A minute past, in silence, then the
whole loft shook with Nick's roar of hunger. He pushed Lacroix aside,
stumbled to the fridge, and took out three bottles of human blood. He
gulped them down one after the other, and then took a forth, drinking
it more slowly. He felt the strength return to his limbs and smiled,
closing his eyes for a moment. He felt a gentle hand touch his heart
and he opened his eyes to Natalie. She looked sad, but he felt
through their bond of blood, that she was without pain.

"I'm sorry Nick, I just forgot. Last night was so foggy in my head I
didn't remember till the pain hit me. I should have stayed with you."

Nick saw Nat drop her head, like a 6 year old who broke her mother's
vase, and smiled.

"I never sleep that soundly Nat. So you could have woken me. Never
again. If ever you feel like that, do whatever it is you have to do
to get in touch with either Lacroix , Janette or myself. You can even
call out through our link. One of us will find our way to you. If
ever you were around humans with that feeling, you could kill
someone, and the you'd have the enforcers breathing down our necks.
We wouldn't want that to happen, now would we. So if you ever have
that pain, lock yourself away alone somewhere and call out. One of us
will find you. The first few months are always tedious. Now how do
you feel, are you still hungry?"

She blushed a little and nodded silently. Nick handed her the bottle
he had taken for himself and smiled wider. It was funny to see
someone so shy about taking blood. He had felt weird that first
night, but not shy.

" Here then, feed. And don't look so embarrassed. You're hungry, you
feed. If you don't....well you saw how I was before last night. "

She gulped the blood down in a few minutes and put the bottle on the
living room table. She wiped her mouth on her arm and smiled. She
felt so good. Like a giddy child. She looked at Nick innocently and
wondered if they would teach her to fly soon. As though reading her
thoughts, Nick chuckled and spoke.

" We have to take things slowly. You have things to learn Nat.
Flying comes in kind of last. I mean you haven't even learned about
your strength and speed yet. We will have to go away from here, for
at least awhile. People are beginning to notice that I don't age.
Maybe after teaching you the basics, we will move on. You'll have to
quit your job at the coroner's office right away. The dead are very
strong to a vampire nose, and until you learn to handle it, you'll
get sick every time you are around a corpse. Besides I never did like
you in that job anyway. It seems depressing to me. Having to spend
all night around the decaying. And as of now, the quest for mortality
stops. I am what I am, I know that now. I am a vampire, and that is
not the same as a killer"

He looked at Lacroix and thought a moment before speaking.

" Father, can you get in touch with Aristotle and arrange for some
new lives to move on with. It's time."

Lacroix nodded and Nick looked at Janette. She looked sort of upset.
The club, he thought. It was her baby. Janette had liked the Raven
best of all.

" Janette, you can't own the Raven forever. You can open up one
somewhere else. There is things we must do, you know that. I mean you
can stay if you would like, but you'll have to move on soon anyway. I
would like it if you would come with us. I haven't trained a
fledgling yet. This is my first that seems to be going well. I am
going to need both you and Lacroix on this. You two have more
experience then me in this area. Please say you'll come. "

Janette hesitated for a moment and then nodded. She didn't like to
be away from Nichola' too much, she thought to herself. He was like a
fungus, annoying sometimes, but he still grew on you.

Nat sat there silently for a few moments. Things seemed to be moving
so fast. Move away, quit work. It was allot to take in. Lacroix saw
her look of confusion and patted her on the shoulder.

" Nothing need be done right this moment, my fine doctor. We still
have a whole night. Take your time, and relax a bit. Ease your mind.
You are family now, my family and you will be well taken care of. I
promise. "

" It's not fear, Lucien. It's just a little.....overwelming. I never
thought about this when I came to my decision last night. There is
allot that vampires have to sacrifice when having to move on. It's
not that I regret my decision, but it just seems everything is
happening a little faster then I had thought it would. "

He paused, hearing her call him by his first and true name. No one
had called him that in a while. It was just a little strange. He
assured her with a smile.

" It takes a little getting use to but after a few centuries, it's
like an everyday task. We can not live for long in a place. After 20-
30 years people begin to notice that we are not aging. They must not
know of our existence. And for a fledging to continue with life as
they had when they were mortal, it is not heard of often. You have
allot to learn about yourself, and it must be done in solitude. It is
too much for a fledging to live in such a crowded area. You must
break into your new nature slowly. Nicholas had to be trained in the
same way, though back then we were not nearly as careful with killing
as we are today. It is dangerous for vampires this day in age. We
will get noticed a little too quickly. It is the code we live by. You
will have ample time to learn this, but the first month or so, it
must be you and your master and no one else. It is very important. Do
you understand. "

Nat thought on his words for a few minutes, taking them in, and
nodded. She didn't want to turn out like poor Richard. Nick had to
kill him because his vampire nature was too much to handle. She
didn't want that to happen to her. She looked at Nick with a smile.

"Well I better hop to. I need to go to my apartment and get dressed
properly. I have to pick up Sidney and bring him here, I have to drop
by work and hand in my resignation to the coroner's office. I have to
get some boxes, pack my stuff up, put my furniture in storage, pack
my clothes and leave the apartment. I have to say goodbye to Grace
and the Captian. I need to book a flight and meet aristotle....god
there's just so much to do. I'll be back soon....wait I left my car
at the Raven....Have to get the glass fixed on the window and then
sell the car and....."

Nick stopped her with a hand on her arm. Nat looked up and stopped
her rant mid sentence.

" What Nick, whats wrong. I can get grace to pick me up.

"Whoa, Nat, slow down. First of all you aren't going anywhere yet.
My apartment is sound proof, but out there the world of noises and
heartbeats will drive a fledgling crazy. I need you to stay here.
When Lacroix gets the plans from Aristotle on where we are moving, I
will arrange everything and have your entire apartment moved there.
Granted, I can't take the building with it." He chuckled at that and
so did she. " There are certain advantages to being a vampire, Nat.
Especially when you are one of Lacroix's lineage. Lacroix is the
brains of this operation, but each of us has so much money and time
at our disposal that we have everything done for us. You name it and
Aristotle can find it for us. New Jobs suiting our knowledge, new
house, new last names, birth certificates, id and drivers license.
Everything will be taken care of. As for clothes and your cat, either
Janette or myself will get that done for you. But for a little while,
because this is new on you, you can not go out by yourself. And for
the first week, you will not be allowed to even go anywhere, with or
without someone. The first week is always tedious, vampire needs and
senses are so high. Do you understand me, you have to stay here, it's
important."

She nodded , and frowned. It was like being in Jail for a week. She
was going to go stir crazy. Janette whispered to her while Nick went
to get ready upstairs

"Don't worry after the first few days, I'll take you to the roof for
some fresh air when Nichola's out. He'll never notice. " Nick looked
down at them. Crazy Janette, he thought, always trying to break the
rules.

"You know I may be busy but I am not deaf. Just because I starved
myself, doesn't mean I can't hear as well as you all can. Janette, if
you do take her out on the roof, you had better watch her. I want to
keep things as safe as possible. I don't want her or anyone else
getting hurt."

Natalie dropped her head and pouted. She felt like a two year old,
being watched like she might break everything in the house. The beast
inside her took that disappointment and turned it into anger. What
was she a criminal. Lacroix felt the anger from her and decided to
quell it at once.

"Dear Doctor, what Nicholas said is true. It is always this way in
the beginning. Fledglings don't have control. You've seen it before.
Look at what had to be done about your brother. If you go out there
on your own now, and get hungry, you'll kill carelessly, and that
would bring down..."

She cut him off.

"The enforcers, I know. Geez. You know a little faith in me can't
hurt. I mean, I have kept the code up until now, had to coat over
vampire killings for you guys before. I have protected you all this
time. Now it's like I'm a criminal. I am not my brother. He didn't
know anything about vampires, I do. Nick is going to drive me nuts,
keeping me penned up here for a week. How am I going to learn
anything. You know, this was suppose to be an adventure for me. New
powers, abilities. I want to stretch myself. Let me find the strenght
to handle myself. You can trust me, "

Now Janette chimed in. Nat thought this was some sort of fun game.
No, Janette thought, that had to be stopped.

" This isn't about trust or strength. It's about control and
learning as you go. This, what you are, is not a fantasy, or a fun
ride. This is a legacy Nichola gave you, and with the legacy comes
the rules. It is what seperates us from the true beasts out there.
You have allot to learn about being a vampire. Tonight could have
turned out far worst if I hadn't found you. What you know about
vampires, their fears and their wants, is barely the surface of what
lies beneath our skin. You have a long road ahead of you young lady.
And sacrefices must be made you are right. Don't think that because
you're a vampire now you can simply do as you please."

Nat frowned at her.

" I will be driven mad in here with no one but myself to keep me
company. How Bad can it really be out there. I mean you lived in it
just fine. "

"You want to know what the city sounds like to us? How the smells of
the outside world affect us? You want to go outside? Then come with
me. I shall show you why Nichola is keeping you in."

Janette grabbed her hand and flew upwards, floating gracefully out
of the skylight. She held Nat firmly and waited. Suddenly Nat
shivered. The noise was so loud. A thousand heart beats that sounded
like multiple thunder storms. Cars that sounded like elephants. The
light breeze that sounded like a hurricane. She covered her ears. It
was like the whole world was screaming inside her head. Then the
smells. Blood came first, making her hungry all over again. Then came
the gasoline, the filth, the garbage, death, food. The smell of her
world made her sick. She trembled and threw up, blood pouring out of
her mouth. After she finished, Janette took her inside. The quiet
returned. Nick's loft must be very sound proofed to close out the
world. She trembled again and ran to the sink throwing up more blood.
Then, as her stomach settlede, she wiped pinkish tears from her cheek
and looked at Janette.

"How in the world do you live with that at all. I would be trapped
here forever, anything to avoid that smelly racket."

Nick smiled at her. Well that was one lesson learnt.

"Nat, we live in it because we have grown to deal with the world. As
a new vampire, you can't possibly be expected to know and deal with
everything. That's why training is done away from here, in a remote
and quiet spot. You have to learn to break yourself into things
slowly, control your abilities, and your hunger. Even I , as old as I
am, still walk through the streets and have to control what I hear
and smell, or I would have your reaction. Now can you understand why
you aren't aloud to go out."

She nodded quietly. Well, she had signed up for this. There was no
going back now. But oh, would she have allot to learn. She felt a
pang of hunger rumble again in her belly, but said nothing. Nick,
Lacroix and Janette had their heads together, talking amongst
themselves for a moment. She didn't want to disturb them. Her eyes
fell to her wrist. Well, maybe this would make it go away too, it was
blood after all. She rose her wrist to her mouth and bit down. It was
good, warm. Then a hand reached out to grab hers away from her mouth.
She growled, her eyes golden, and bit at the hand that had hers. A
flash of power came through her. It was Lacroix. She held the finger
in her mouth, but Lacroix pulled her head away by her hair and she
released his finger.

" Never do that. I would feed from a old sick woman before feeding
from myself. It won't make the hunger go away. And never, ever draw
blood from your own kind without asking first. You do that, and a
second later there will be a stake in your chest."

She growled again then closed her eyes, breathing deeply. When she
opened them again, her eyes were back to normal. She looked at
Lacroix and bit back her anger. The second lesson it seemed was the
one of control.

" Yes, Lucien, I understand."

He released her hair and patted the top of her head, then pulled up
a sleeve. Then, to her surprise, he offered a wrist to her. She
looked at him with a look of wonder. This was new. She wondered if it
was some kind of trick. But her hunger called out, and she could not
resist. She bit down into the offered wrist and her mind filled with
lighting and power. Where Nick's blood had been warmed honey,
Lacroix's was like piercing fire. After a few moments she had to let
go. It was too much. Hungry or not, she would wait before doing that
again. She shook her head to clear the fog and then looked at Lacriox.

" Sorry, Lucien, but that was too much. Like fire in my veins. I
will wait till I am more seasoned before thinking of ever asking for
your blood again. It was like the blood was trying to take control of
me. And I have to learn to have control of it. The beast craves
power, but the mortal craves comfort, and save for your tearing
emotions last night, your blood has no comfort."

Lucien held his wrist and gave a slight nod. He had done this to
teach her, and again, for the third time, the lesson had hit home. He
turned and Janette came forth with two bottles in her hand. She gave
one to Nat and kept one for herself. She put two glasses on the
table. She filled them and handed one to Nat.

" Mon cherie...it is more civilized to sip from a glass then gulp
from a bottle. That is the man's way to drink. Here use this. It
looks better, and gives you more time to savor the taste of it. There
is a little wine mixed in with it. It gives the blood an interesting
flavor. I enjoy it."

Nick luaghed at her

"Great Janette. Blood and fine china and crystal improves the taste.
Teah her that and we'll all be broke between the two of you. Always
the finer things in life. Or the most expensive."

"Oh be silent, Nicola'. She deserves to know the finer things in
life. There is nothing wrong with it

Nat looked around herself, and smiled at the banter between brother
and sister. Taking a sip from the glass Janette handed her, her smile
grew. This was going to be an interesting eternity, she thought, so
very interesting.



END